Fran Lebowitz Quotes About Children

Quotes about: Children

• Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Life, Children, Humorous

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from Oct 04, 2010

• I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

  Fran Lebowitz

  Life, Children, Smart

  "AT LUNCH WITH: Fran Lebowitz; Words Are Easy, Books Are Not". Interview with Bob Morris, www.nytimes.com. August 10, 1994.

• Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Mom, Baby, Children

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.53, Vintage

• Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Designer Clothes, Adults

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.219, Vintage

• Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Cheating, Children

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.52, Vintage

• If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Literature, Serious

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.219, Vintage

• All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Funny, Beauty, Beautiful

  Metropolitan Life "Manners" (1978)

• Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Color, Long

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.53, Vintage

• Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Stars, Children, Growing Up

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from May 08, 2010

• How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Abdomen, Excuse

  "Opinions You Won’t Find on Twitter: Fran Lebowitz Talks" by Ginai Bellafante, www.nytimes.com. November 21, 2010.

• I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Inspirational, Children, Issues

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.51, Vintage

• Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" "Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Blue, Sky

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.52, Vintage

• Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Relationship, Children, Rain

  Fran Lebowitz (2003). “Metropolitan Life ; Social Studies: Social studies”

• Presently it appears that people are mainly concerned with being well rested. Those capable of uninterrupted sleep are much admired. Unconsciousness is in great demand. This is the day of the milligram. The rigors of learning how to do long division have been a traditional part of childhood, just like learning to smoke. In fact, as far as I am concerned, the two go hand in hand. Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Sleep, Hands

• Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Sex, Children, Humorous

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.220, Vintage

• Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Long, Doe

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.103, Vintage

• Children are much less annoying [than adults] and they never start trends.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Adults, Trends

• One of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. This is one of the worst changes, by far. It's disgusting. To have to sit next to grown men on the subway in the summer, and they're wearing shorts? They look ridiculous, like children, and I can't take them seriously. My fashion advice, particularly to men wearing shorts: Ask yourself, 'Could I make a living modeling these shorts?' If the answer is no, then change your clothes. Put on a pair of pants.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Summer, Fashion, Children

  Source: www.elle.com

• Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Political Opinions, Knows

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.220, Vintage

• If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Giving, Enemy

• Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many - even more - things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Speaks French, People

• Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Needs, Pay

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.217, Vintage

• Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Real, Cutting

  Fran Lebowitz (2003). “Metropolitan Life ; Social Studies: Social studies”

• I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Jobs, Children, Hate

• Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Children, Names, Long

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.219, Vintage

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