Nationalism is the love which ties me to the blockheads of my country, to the insultors of my way of life, and to the desecrators of my language.
The sound principle of a topsy-turvy lifestyle in the framework of an upside-down world order has stood every test.
A philistine is habitually bored and looks for things that won't bore him. An artist finds things boring, but is never bored.
Family life is an encroachment on private life.
The difference between psychiatrists and other mentally disturbed people is something like the relationship between concave and convex madness.
Immortality is the only thing which doesn't tolerate being postponed.
Truth is a clumsy servant that breaks the dishes while washing them.
A bibliophile has approximately the same relationship to literature as a philatelist to geography.
Since the law prohibits the keeping of wild animals and I get no enjoyment from pets, I prefer to remain unmarried.
Humanity and bestiality: when will the former finally be uttered with the flavor of hate and the latter with the flavor of love? Does a lion tear his fellow lion to pieces?
You don't even live once.
Cosmetics is the science of a woman's cosmos.
Science is spectral analysis. Art is light synthesis.
The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature.
Diplomacy is a game of chess in which the nations are checkmated.
Matrimony is the union of meanness and martyrdom.
Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children?
When I want to go to sleep, I must first get a whole menagerie of voices to shut up. You wouldn't believe what a racket they make in my room.
A comprehensive education is a well-stocked pharmacy: but we have no assurance that potassium cyanide will not be administered fora head cold.
Language is the only chimera whose illusory power is endless, the inexhaustibility which keeps life from being impoverished. Let men learn to serve language.
A poem is good until one knows by whom it is.
Christian morality prefers remorse to precede lust, and then lust not to follow.
Life is an effort that deserves a better cause.
In Berlin, things are serious but not hopeless. In Vienna, they are hopeless but not serious.
If something is stolen from you, don't go to the police. They're not interested. Don't go to a psychologist either, because he's interested in only one thing: that it was really you who did the stealing.
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