Andy Kindler Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• I watched Anderson Cooper 360 for a year before I realized that the second hour was a repeat of the first. I just thought his reporting seemed familiar.

  Andy Kindler

  Years, Firsts, Hours

  4 Copy quote

• I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen's show and were disappointed. That didn't seem very organized! That guy's all over the map!

  Andy Kindler

  People, Guy, Maps

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• I actually performed at an orthodox Jewish wedding, where the men were separated from the women, but they both came together to not enjoy what I was talking about.

  Andy Kindler

  Men, Talking, Together

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• People are trying so hard to become famous. Johnny Marbles, he tried to throw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face. What do I gotta do, give Sumner Redstone a wedgie?

  Andy Kindler

  Pie, People, Giving

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• CNN has a thing called You Choose the News. Y'know what CNN? I'm turning you on because I don't know the news. I was hoping you could help me.

  Andy Kindler

  Cnn, News, Helping

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• I'm on a show called Wizards of Wavery Place, and I like it, but I'm unable to convince my Tivo that I wouldn't also like iCarly.

  Andy Kindler

  Wizards, Shows, Convince

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• I get some acting jobs. I like it other than the constant slipping in and out of character.

  Andy Kindler

  Jobs, Character, Acting

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• I believe at the end of my career I'll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame.

  Andy Kindler

  Believe, Character, Careers

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• Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn’t funny.

  Andy Kindler

  Adam, Ifs

  "JFL 42 Presents: Andy Kindler". The Underground Interview, the-underground.ca. September 19, 2013.

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• Why does Louis CK get named Comedy Person of the Year? I should be named Comedy Person of the Year just so I can parlay it into another few weeks of road work.

  Andy Kindler

  Years, Doe, Comedy

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• President Obama. He is the man. I've tried the rest, and he is the best. My dream is for him to appoint me to be the Secretary of Humor. My first act will be to make whatever Larry the Cable Guy is doing illegal.

  Andy Kindler

  Dream, Men, Guy

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• Jewish people, we're repulsed by Hitler, but we're obsessed with him. If you ever want to rob a Jewish person's house, all you have to do is call them up and tell them there's a Hitler film festival down at the multiplex - watch them file out.

  Andy Kindler

  People, House, Watches

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