Christopher Titus Quotes About Cars

Quotes about: Cars

• Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after that, everybody. Every woman in here got intimidated by a guy, pushed around too much, now you're new boyfriend tickles you a little too hard, boom restraining order. Every guy here had a woman sleep with his best friend, now your new girlfriend hugs your cousin a little long, boom car bomb.

  Christopher Titus

  Girlfriend, Cousin, Sex

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My dad invented road rage. He wasn't the first guy to get mad in the car, but he was first guy to get mad enough to make the paper.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Mad, Car

  "5th Annual End of the World Tour". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2007.

• Losing builds character. So, if you're the loser in your family, don't worry. 'Cos twenty years form now, that perfect can do no wrong brother of yours is going to show up at your house, bald, fat, divorced, with six kids who all hate him and he's going to ask you for money. And because of your character, you're going to look him right in the eyes and you're going to say, You know what, I'll give you some money. If you mow my lawn and detail my car. Oh yeah, then you can shampoo the tail. Loser.

  Christopher Titus

  Brother, Hate, Character

  "Titus / Shannon's Song". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• Being a teenager is the worst thirty years of your life. But it all changes after that. You get a great car, a great job. You got a wife, kids, you got your health. But then your company is sold out from under you, your stocks tank, your wife's sleeping with the gardener and your teenage daughter is pregnant. And you notice that you have a prostate so hard, you can actually take a hammer to it. But hey, not one zit.

  Christopher Titus

  Daughter, Jobs, Teenage

  "Titus / Errrr". www.imdb.com. 2002.

• How far would you go for someone you love ? I heard this story, about this woman, who actually lifted a car off of her baby. 'Course I would have said, Dude! Back up. But, wasn't my kid. When I was born, if I'd have known all the stuff my dad was going to do for me, I'd have crawled right back in.

  Christopher Titus

  Baby, Dad, Kids

  "Titus / The Test". www.imdb.com. 2000.

• In a normal family, a surprise means presents, cake and a party. For me ? I had no idea. And my family, doing something nice is seen as an attack. When I was nine, I 'attacked' my father with a fathers day gift. A visor organiser for his car, because it was useful. And it rhymed. Visor. Organiser. I was nine.

  Christopher Titus

  Fathers Day, Nice, Party

• So what if your custom car shop tanks and you've gotta take a crappy job at an auto parts store, dealing with ignorant, pushy people. I'm okay with that, 'cause I'm an ignorant, pushy people person.

  Christopher Titus

  Jobs, People, Car

  "Titus / Life Forward". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• My father never missed a drink in his life. Or a joint. Or a party. Or a chance to get laid. He also never missed a day of work, or a house payment, or a car payment. I never went hungry, although he did a couple of times so I wouldn't.

  Christopher Titus

  Couple, Father, Party

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". www.imdb.com. 2004.

• My first car was a 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88. Ugly car. More ugly on this car than a Rolling Stones group photo.

  Christopher Titus

  Car, Groups, Rolling

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". Comedy, One-man Show, www.imdb.com. June 06, 2004.

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