Louis C. K. Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Kids, Son

• The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.

  Louis C. K.

  People, Ironic, Gone

  Interview with Nathan Rabin, tv.avclub.com. May 23, 2007.

• I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier; it goes quicker. She's like, "What's wrong with you?" And I'm like, "I know! Damn it! Argh!"

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Hate, Fighting

• There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Girl, Kids

• Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Two, People

• Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Eye, Who I Am

  "Louie". Comedy, Drama. Season 1, Episode 3, July 06, 2010.

• Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Daughter, Mouths

  "Louis C.K.: Chewed Up". Documentary, Comedy, 2008.

• Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Hurt, Sorry

• I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Baby, Gun

  "Louis C.K.: Chewed Up". Documentary, Comedy, 2008.

• You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down... I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Winning, Two

• Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Hurt, White

• For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing the thing. I rented it from Blockbuster and sped to that scene, and it was gone. I called up Blockbuster, and I'm like, "I got an erection, and the scene's not there."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Girl, Years

• People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go there. 'Cause as soon as you get there, they kill you." That's what people think. As soon as you arrive in Harlem, someone just stabs you in the face right away. That's people's image of Harlem: just everyone standing around waiting for lost white people to kill all day. "Did you see any? I didn't either."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Thinking, White

• One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Daughter, Children

• You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah, but"-like somehow you think it's not going to be as good? Like, "I want to do the right thing-but it's probably kind of bland without the dolphin."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Thinking, Want

• Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, "Those Chinese people, they can fly!" "You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!"

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Nice, Race

• If I found myself alone on planet Earth, no other humans, I would have sex with a monkey in like two minutes. Two minutes. That's really not long enough to be sure you're alone on the Earth, even. That's like... I walk outside, it's- there's not much traffic. "Oh, my God, it's just me! I'm gonna have sex with a monkey right now. Oh, no-there's a person."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Sex, Two

• I was talking to my friend and he said his girlfriend was mad at him. I said, "What happened?" He goes: "Well, I guess I, uh... I guess I said something, and, uh... and then she got her feelings hurt." That's a weird way to phrase it: "She got her feelings hurt. I said something, and then she..." Could you more remove yourself from responsibility? "She got her feelings hurt." It's like saying, "Yeah, I shot this guy in the face, and then I guess he got himself murdered. I don't know what happened. He leaned into it."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Girlfriend, Hurt

• I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Phones, Dallas

• I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Movie, Jesus

  Interview with Nathan Rabin, tv.avclub.com. July 6, 2011.

• To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.

  Louis C. K.

  Goal, Laughing, Connections

• Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.

  Louis C. K.

  Way, Comedy, Polite

• Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.

  Louis C. K.

  Ideas, Laughing, Comedy

  Source: www.avclub.com

• To me, comedies are usually the least funny movies. Movies that are actually a comedy are usually not all that funny. To me Goodfellas and Raging Bull are two of the funniest movies I ever saw.

  Louis C. K.

  Two, Bulls, Saws

  "Louis C.K. on the Importance of Acting Like an Asshole". Interview with Steve Marsh, www.vulture.com. June 29, 2010.

• The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him.

  Louis C. K.

  Night, Idols, Pbs

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