When parents see their children's problems as opportunities to build the relationship instead of as negative, burdensome irritations, it totally changes the nature of parent-child interaction. Parents become more willing, even excited, about deeply understanding and helping their children. . . . This paradigm is powerful in business as well.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you're going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.
When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it's like giving them emotional oxygen.
The real beginning of influence comes as others sense you are being influenced by them - when they feel understood by you - that you have listened deeply and sincerely, and that you are open.
The deepest hunger of [a child's] human heart is to be understood, for understanding implicitly affirms, validates, recognizes and appreciates the intrinsic worth of another.
People don't listen to understand. They listen to reply. The collective monologue is everyone talking and no one listening.
To judge someone before understanding that person is a form of human rejection and feeds upon itself. It intensifies personal insecurities, necessitating more judgment (prejudice) and less understanding. The processes continue in this vicious cycle.
If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, empathic, consistent, loving parent. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee.
When you make a commitment to yourself, do so with the clear understanding that you're pledging your integrity.
You can't live principals you can't understand.
To judge individuals before understanding them is a form of human rejection and feeds upon itself.
Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other.
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