You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
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