Augusten Burroughs Quotes - Page 5

Quotes about:

• In order for us [people] to progress, we need brilliance and brilliance isn't fair and it's not polite and we can't grow it. It happens. Genius happens and it doesn't always happen in a zip code where we can access it. Therefore, we kind of need [Internet] not to keep tabs on everybody but we need to give them access to everybody else.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Order, People, Giving

  Big Think Interview, bigthink.com.

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• The truth about not having everything you need, not being fully equipped or qualified or allowed is that these limits are the nebula of creative genius. When you have total freedom i.e: no limits at all. You stop trying to make the best of things

  Augusten Burroughs

  Creative, Trying, Nebula

  23 Copy quote

• Women smirk at baldness. How adorable would they find it if they began to lose their breasts in their late twenties? If both tits just shrunk up - unevenly I might add - and eventually turned into wine-cork nubs. Then it would be a different story. Then men would get the pity that they deserve. As far as I'm concerned, baldness is the male breast cancer only worse, because almost everyone gets it. True, it's not life threatening. Just social-life threatening. But in New York City, there is no difference.

  Augusten Burroughs

  New York, Cancer, Wine

  6 Copy quote

• It was like living in a new house. I saw the undersides of tables, walked through the tangle of chair legs. It would be good to be a dog, I thought. You would feel safe surrounded by all of these leggy objects that never tried to run away.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Running, Dog, House

  6 Copy quote

• As I sat in the hot, salty water, I thought, 'No wonder Mr. Bubble always gives me a urinary tract infection and hives.' Mr. Bubble was for common people. Mr. Bubble was for my so-called brother, their true child. I was a Vanderbilt. I should bathe in condiments and seasonings.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Brother, Children, People

  Augusten Burroughs (2012). “Magical Thinking”, p.23, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• Everybody in recovery smokes. If you don't like smoking, don't even bother trying to get sober. Just stay drunk.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Recovery, Drunk, Smoking

  Augusten Burroughs (2007). “Possible Side Effects”, p.193, Macmillan

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• Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Children, Puppy

  Augusten Burroughs (2011). “Dry”, p.227, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• Maybe it was a Patty Hearst thing. Stockholm syndrome or whatever it's called when you're being held against your will but then you become sucked in and fall in love. Or if not exactly love, you fall into something you can't see out of. 'I can't shoot a machine gun' becomes 'Hey, this hardly has any kick-back!

  Augusten Burroughs

  Falling In Love, Love You, Gun

  Augusten Burroughs (2004). “Running With Scissors”, p.106, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• My instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact, the police academy discourages this. They feel your gun should rarely, if ever, be brought out of its holster. Most certainly not when children are involved, which is exactly when I saw myself using my gun most often. A truant teenager loitering outside a movie theater is going to be far more motivated to return to school when he has the barrel of a .45 pressed against his cheek.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Children, Teenager, School

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• There is nothing about myself that I wouldn't reveal or write about. I don't care how horrendous or ridiculous I may appear in person or in print. There is great freedom in not caring what other people think.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Writing, Caring, Thinking

  Interview, www.goodreads.com. April, 2008.

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• I did not consider him to be any kind of a genius. I considered him deeply lacking in the area that mattered most in life. Star quality.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Stars, Quality, Genius

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• Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Doors, Watches, Needs

  Augusten Burroughs (2011). “Possible Side Effects”, p.114, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• I came to think that maybe God was what you believed in because you needed to feel you weren’t alone. Maybe God was simply that part of yourself that was always there and always strong, even when you were not.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Strong, Inspiration, Thinking

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• You cannot be a prisoner of your past against your will. Because you can only live in the past inside your mind.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Past, Mind, Your Past

  Augusten Burroughs (2012). “This Is How: Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike.”, p.96, Macmillan

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• It was a salad bar of phobias

  Augusten Burroughs

  Bars, Salad, Phobia

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• I was like a packet of powdered Sea Monkeys and they were like water.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Sea, Water, Monkeys

  Augusten Burroughs (2010). “Running with Scissors: A Memoir”, p.71, Macmillan

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• I was struck with a bolt of distilled horror like I have never known before. Far worse than suddenly finding yourself walking through a prison cafeteria wearing Daisy Duke shorts and a Jane Fonda headband.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Finding Yourself, Cafeteria, Dukes

  Augusten Burroughs (2012). “Magical Thinking”, p.64, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• I never question the way I write. Writing is the only thing that's without seams for me. It's an effort to talk because my pictures have to be turned into these sounds. It's an effort to be alive. It's work. But writing is wonderful.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Writing, Effort, Alive

  Source: content.time.com

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• I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Grateful, Drunk, East

  Source: www.bookslut.com

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• The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone: not to friends nor therapists; not even in rehab when we were detailing our own personal spirals of shame did I confess. It is this: I am a graduate of the Barbizon School of Modeling.

  Augusten Burroughs

  School, Rehab, Facts

  Augusten Burroughs (2004). “Magical Thinking: True Stories”, p.36, Macmillan

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• My window fogs and this makes me feel like there is no world outside of the car.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Fog, Car, World

  Augusten Burroughs (2010). “Running with Scissors: A Memoir”, p.120, Macmillan

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• Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off

  Augusten Burroughs

  Home, Creativity, Light

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• [Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy canes, but people think heavy thoughts over the holidays because that's when you're thinking about family. Are we close? Or are we not as close as other people?

  Augusten Burroughs

  Holiday, Thinking, Light

  Source: content.time.com

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• And of course, the answer came to me in the same way Jesus comes to those who drink in trailers: as an epiphany.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Jesus, Answers, Way

  Augusten Burroughs (2012). “Magical Thinking”, p.64, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Writing, People, Interesting

  Interview with Austin Allen, bigthink.com. November 3, 2009.

  7 Copy quote

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