P. G. Wodehouse Quotes - Page 8

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• I go in for what is known in the trade as 'light writing' and those who do that - humorists they are sometimes called - are looked down upon by the intelligentsia and sneered at.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Light, Sometimes

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• The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Brain, Soup, Motion Pictures

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.137, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Mean, Reality

  P. G. Wodehouse (2012). “The Man Upstairs: And Other Stories”, p.11, The Floating Press

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• A roll and butter and a small coffee seemed the only things on the list that hadn't been specially prepared by the nastier-minded members of the Borgia family for people they had a particular grudge against, so I chose them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Coffee, People, Lists

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.132, Courier Corporation

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• There was the man who seemed to be attempting to decieve his ball and lull it into a false sense of security by looking away from it and then making a lightning slash in the apparent hope of catching it off its guard.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Men, Lightning

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• It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Uncles, Discovery, Medicine

  The Inimitable Jeeves (1923) ch. 16

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• Just another proof, of course, of what I often say - it takes all sorts to make a world.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  World, Proof, Courses

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• The spine, and I do not attempt to conceal the fact, had become soluble, in the last degree.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Degrees, Lasts, Facts

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Joy in the Morning: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.69, Random House

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• What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Goes On, Jeeves, Conversation

  My Man Jeeves (1919) "Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest"

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• I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Mean, Weekend, Criminals

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• Confidence, of course is an admirable asset to a golfer, but it should be an unspoken confidence. It is perilous to put it into speech. The gods of golf lie in wait to chasten the presumptious.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Lying, Golf, Waiting

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• You are falling into your old error, Jeeves, of thinking that Gussie is a parrot. Fight against this. I shall add the oz.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fall, Fighting, Thinking

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.148, Booklassic

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• As a rule, from what I've observed, the American Captain of Industry doesn't do anything out of business hours. When he has put the cat out and locked up the office for the night, he just relapses into a state of coma from which he emerges only to start being a Captain of Industry again.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Cat, Night, Office

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.20, Courier Corporation

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• ...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Taken, Writing, School

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “The Politeness of Princes: And Other School Stories: Easyread Super Large 20pt Edition”, p.117, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Writing, Typewriters, Curse

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• Employers are like horses — they require management.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Horse, Management, Employers

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• You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Enjoy

  P. G. Wodehouse, David A. Jasen (1997). “Enter Jeeves: 15 Early Stories”, p.74, Courier Corporation

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• I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Heart, Breakfast, Soup

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.13, Booklassic

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• Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Congratulations, Writing, Winning

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• Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Funny, Dark, Theatre

  1955 In the New York Mirror, 27 May.

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• The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Father, Humorous, Eggs

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• Now, I'm a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the taste of their boots, the smell of their legs, and the sound of their voices. It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dog, Fun, Men

  "The Man with Two Left Feet: And Other Stories".

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• I expect I shall feel better after tea.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Feel Better, Tea, Feels

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• You probably think that being a guest in your aunt's house I would hesitate to butter you all over the front lawn and dance on the fragments in hobnailed boots, but you are mistaken. It would be a genuine pleasure. By an odd coincidence I brought a pair of hobnailed boots with me!' So saying, and recognising a good exit line when he saw one, he strode out, and after an interval of tense meditation I followed him. (Spode to Wooster)

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Thinking, House

  P.G. Wodehouse (2000). “Jeeves And The Tie That Binds”, p.74, Simon and Schuster

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• The test of a great golfer is his ability to recover from a bad start.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Golf, Tests, Golfers

  P. G. Wodehouse, D. R. Bensen (1999). “Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf”, p.76, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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