Jeeves Quotes

• I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Disgruntled, Ifs

  The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 1

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• There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Matter, Moments, Appearance

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Wonderful Wodehouse 2: A Collection: Thank You Jeeves, Right Ho Jeeves, The Code of the Woosters”, p.784, Random House

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• I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Feelings, Fancy

  P.G. Wodehouse (2009). “Wonderful Wodehouse 1: A Collection: The Inimitable Jeeves, Carry On Jeeves, Very Good Jeeves”, p.394, Random House

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• It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Life, Sorry, Humorous

  The Man Upstairs (1914) title story

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• She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Women, Clothes, Moral

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Ideas, Principles, Helping

  P.G. Wodehouse (2017). “Classic Wodehouse”, p.334, Random House

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• At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Women, Difficult Situations, Age

  P. G. Wodehouse (2009). “Uneasy Money: Easyread Super Large 18pt Edition”, p.349, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• I don't want to seem always to be criticizing your methods of voice production, Jeeves, I said, but I must inform you that that 'Well, sir' of yours is in many respects fully as unpleasant as your 'Indeed, sir?

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Voice, Want, Said

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.70, Booklassic

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• What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Goes On, Conversation, Said

  My Man Jeeves (1919) "Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest"

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• It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Aunt, Use, Pops

  The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 2

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• The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Wrong Number, Voice

  P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The World of Jeeves: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.569, Random House

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• Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Fate, Boxing, Unseen

  P. G. Wodehouse, Donald R. Bensen (1985). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.262, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Shrimp, Pity, Wit

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• And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Two, Brain

  P. G. Wodehouse (2008). “The Adventures of Sally (Volume 1 of 2) (EasyRead Super Large 20pt Edition)”, p.207, ReadHowYouWant.com

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• It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Strong, Passion, Aunt

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.192, Booklassic

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• I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Heart, Breakfast, Soup

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “My Man Jeeves”, p.13, Booklassic

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• There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Humorous, Hair, Getting Older

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• The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Death, Sports, Humorous

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.35, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• -'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Ties, Matter

  P. G. Wodehouse (1999). “A Wodehouse Bestiary”, p.166, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Inspirational, People, Intelligence

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• You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Girl, Humorous, Mean

  P. G. Wodehouse (2015). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.10, Booklassic

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• I turned on the pillow with a little moan, and at this juncture Jeeves entered with the vital oolong. I clutched at it like a drowning man at a straw hat.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Men, Tea, Littles

  P. G. Wodehouse (2010). “Right Ho, Jeeves”, p.53, The Floating Press

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• Jeeves, you really are a specific dream-rabbit." "Thank you, miss. I am glad to have given satisfaction.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Dream, Missing, Rabbits

  P.G. Wodehouse (2012). “The Jeeves Omnibus - Vol 1: (Jeeves & Wooster)”, p.323, Random House

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• There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Sheep, Sailing, Sound

  "Joy in the Morning". Book by P. G. Wodehouse, 1946.

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• Oh, Jeeves,' I said; 'about that check suit.' Yes, sir?' Is it really a frost?' A trifle too bizarre, sir, in my opinion.' But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.' Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.' He's supposed to be one of the best men in London.' I am saying nothing against his moral character, sir.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Character, Men, Order

  P. G. Wodehouse (2004). “Introducing Jeeves: Six Classic Stories”, p.65, Courier Corporation

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