Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
If you wonder which is the stronger sex, watch which one twists the other around her little finger.
Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
Let me be the first to admit that the naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts. Senor Dali has the jump on me from the beginning. He remembers and describes in detail what it was like in the womb. My own earliest memory is of accompanying my father to a polling booth in Columbus, Ohio, where he voted for William McKinley.
Reason is 6/7 of treason.
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision.
But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?
Mutual suspicions of mental inadequacy are common during the first year of any marriage.
I have lived in the East for nearly thirty years now, but many of my books prove that I am never very far away from Ohio in my thoughts, and that the clocks that strike in my dreams are often the clocks of Columbus.
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
Writers of comedy have outlook, whereas writers of tragedy have, according to them, insight.
Looks can be deceiving; it's eating that's believing.
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
Every man is occasionally visited by the suspicion that the planet on which he is riding is not really going anywhere; that the Force which controls its measured eccentricities hasn't got anything special in mind. If he broods on this somber theme long enough he gets the doleful idea that the laughing children on a merry-go-round or the thin, fine hands of a lady's watch are revolving more purposely than he is.
Art – the one achievement of man which has made the long trip up from all fours seem well advised
Every time is a time for comedy in a world of tension that would languish without it. But I cannot confine myself to lightness in a period of human life that demands light. We all know that, as the old adage has it, "It is later than you think." But I also say occasionally: "It is lighter than you think." In this light let's not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness.
Man is troubled by what might be called the Dog Wish, a strange and involved compulsion to be as happy and carefree as a dog
Unless artists can remember what it was to be a little boy, they are only half complete as artist and as man.
I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.
Dogs are obsessed with being happy.
Discussion in America means dissent.
I don't believe the writer should know too much where he's going. If he does, he runs into old man blueprintold man propaganda.
Remember laughter. You'll need it even in the blessed isles of Ever After.
Time is for dragonflies and angels. The former live too little and the latter live too long.
I never quite know when I'm not writing. Sometimes my wife comes up to me at a party and says, "Dammit, Thurber, stop writing." She usually catches me in the middle of a paragraph.
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