Terry Pratchett Quotes About Cats

Quotes about: Cats

• I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

  Terry Pratchett

  Life, Death, Nice

  Terry Pratchett (2017). “Terry Pratchett's Discworld Coloring Book”, p.42, Simon and Schuster

• In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

  Terry Pratchett

  Inspirational, Motivational, Cat

  "Ghost Cats : Human Encounters with Feline Spirits" by Dusty Rainbolt, (p. 7), 2007.

• If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

  Terry Pratchett

  Life, Cat, People

  "Lords and Ladies" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 158), October 2008.

• Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, Cat, Animal

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Tin, Paws

• Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, Dog, Cat

• Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Thinking, Arguing

• It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family effort goes into selecting one at the start ("She looks like a Winnifred to me"), and the as the years roll by it suddenly finds itself being called Meepo or Ratbag.

  Terry Pratchett

  Real, Cat, Years

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• She was not, herself, hugely in favour of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn't exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they'd been given a medal that entitled them to boss people around. It was as if, just because they'd got the label which said "mother," everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child".

  Terry Pratchett

  Mother, Children, Cat

  "Carpe Jugulum". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1998.

• I hate cats." Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant. "I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters.

  Terry Pratchett

  Hate, Cat, Eye

• Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. Men made dogs, they took wolves and gave them human things - unnecessary intelligence, names, a desire to belong, and a twitching inferiority complex. All dogs dream wolf dreams, and know they're dreaming of biting their Maker. Every dog knows, deep in his heart, that he is a Bad Dog.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dream, Dog, Heart

• Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.")

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Doors, Views

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, People, Poison

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• Our garden was debated territory between five local cats, and we'd heard that the best way to keep other cats out of the garden was to have one yourself. A moment's rational thought here will spot the slight flaw in this reasoning.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Garden, Territory

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• Cats don't hunt seals. They would if they knew what they were and where to find them. But they don't, so that's all right.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Hunts, Ifs

  "The Unadulterated Cat". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1989.

• And then there were cats, thought Dog. He'd surprised the huge ginger cat from next door and had attempted to reduce it to cowering jelly by means of the usual glowing stare and deep-throated growl, which had always worked on the damned in the past. This time they had earned him a whack on the nose that had made his eyes water. Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls. He was looking forward to a further cat experiment, which he planned would consist of jumping around and yapping excitedly at it. It was a long shot, but it just might work.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dog, Mean, Cat

  "Good Omens". Book by Neil Gaiman, ‎Terry Pratchett, 1990.

• Picture a tall, dark figure, surrounded by cornfields... NO, YOU CAN'T RIDE A CAT. WHO EVER HEARD OF THE DEATH OF RATS RIDING A CAT? THE DEATH OF RATS WOULD RIDE SOME KIND OF DOG. Picture more fields, a great horizon-spanning network of fields, rolling in gentle waves... DON'T ASK ME I DON'T KNOW. SOME KIND OF TERRIER, MAYBE. ...fields of corn, alive, whispering in the breeze... RIGHT, AND THE DEATH OF FLEAS CAN RIDE IT TOO. THAT WAY YOU KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. ...awaiting the clockwork of the seasons. METAPHORICALLY.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dog, Cat, Dark

• His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Movement, Discworld

  Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

• Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Rocks, Kitchen

• Witches were a bit like cats. They didn’t much like one another’s company, but they did like to know where all the other witches were, just in case they needed them.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Witch, Cases

  Terry Pratchett (2010). “A Hat Full of Sky: (Discworld Novel 32)”, p.11, Random House

• You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Kids, Fire

  "Fictional character: Susan". "Terry Pratchett's Hogfather", www.imdb.com. 2006.

• Man just went past with a cat on his head.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Past, Men

• Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.

  Terry Pratchett

  Wall, Cat, Gun

  "Eric". Book by ‎Terry Pratchett, 1990.

• The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, House, Watches

  Terry Pratchett (2002). “Night watch”, Doubleday UK

• In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
  cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
  could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

  Terry Pratchett

  Cat, Alive, Lords And Ladies

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