Discworld Quotes

• Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.

  Terry Pratchett

  Real, Stupidity, Beats

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.215, Random House

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• Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because - what with trolls and dwarfs and so on - speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.

  Terry Pratchett

  Black And White, America, Racism

  Terry Pratchett (2010). “Witches Abroad: (Discworld Novel 12)”, p.212, Random House

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• Divide by cucumber error. Please reinstall universe and reboot.

  Terry Pratchett

  Errors, Cucumbers, Please

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.218, Random House

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• I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

  Terry Pratchett

  Death, Taxes, Turns

  Terry Pratchett (1996). “Feet of Clay: A Novel of Discworld”, Harper Prism

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• In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

  Terry Pratchett

  Inspirational, Motivational, Cat

  "Ghost Cats : Human Encounters with Feline Spirits" by Dusty Rainbolt, (p. 7), 2007.

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• Picturesque meant - he decided after careful observation of the scenerey that inspired Twoflower to use the word - that the landscape was horribly precipitous. Quaint, when used to describe the occasional village through which they passed, meant fever-ridden and tumbledown. Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, mean 'idiot'.

  Terry Pratchett

  Mean, Tourists, Use

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “The Colour Of Magic: (Discworld Novel 1)”, p.101, Random House

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• Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dream, Needs, Wages

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Wyrd Sisters: (Discworld Novel 6)”, p.270, Random House

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• The universe is, instant by instant, recreated anew. There is in truth no past, only a memory of the past. Blink your eyes, and the world you see next did not exist when you closed them. Therefore, the only appropriate state of the mind is surprise. The only appropriate state of the heart is joy. The sky you see now, you have never seen before. The perfect moment is now. Be glad of it.

  Terry Pratchett

  Memories, Eye, Heart

  Terry Pratchett (2016). “Seriously Funny: The Endlessly Quotable Terry Pratchett”, p.73, Random House

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• Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.

  Terry Pratchett

  Rivers, Water, Citizens

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• Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.

  Terry Pratchett

  Order, Chaos, Defeat

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• There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, People, Ankh

  "The Compleat Ankh-Morpork". Book by Terry Pratchett, 2012.

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• ...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.

  Terry Pratchett

  Birthday, Death, Suicide

  Terry Pratchett (2009). “Moving Pictures: (Discworld Novel 10)”, p.311, Random House

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• The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.

  Terry Pratchett

  Life, Inspire, Plot

  "Moving Pictures". Book by Terry Pratchett, www.theguardian.com. 1990.

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• Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

  Terry Pratchett

  Light, Darkness, Ankh

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Men At Arms: (Discworld Novel 15)”, p.291, Random House

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• Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

  Terry Pratchett

  Differences, Erotic, Kinky

  Terry Pratchett (2009). “Eric: A Novel of Discworld”, p.4, Harper Collins

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• Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.

  Terry Pratchett

  Life, Exercise, Mind

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• ...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

  Terry Pratchett

  Knowing, Done, Ingredients

  FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Nov 23, 2016

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• The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

  Terry Pratchett

  Death, Wisdom, Atheist

  FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Apr 19, 2016

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• You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

  Terry Pratchett

  Believe, Needs

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Hogfather: (Discworld Novel 20)”, p.409, Random House

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• "Multiple exclamation marks," he went on, shaking his head, "are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

  Terry Pratchett

  Exclamation Marks, Mind, Multiple

  "Eric" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 153), February 2002.

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• Well, basically there are two sorts of opera," said Nanny, who also had the true witch's ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. "There's your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like "Oh oh oh, I am dyin', oh I am dyin', oh oh oh, that's what I'm doin'", and there's your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes "Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!", although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That's basically all of opera, reely.

  Terry Pratchett

  Beer, Light, Two

  Terry Pratchett (2009). “Maskerade: (Discworld Novel 18)”, p.155, Random House

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• Words are the litmus paper of the mind.

  Terry Pratchett

  Mind, Paper, Small Gods

  "Small Gods (Discworld, Book 13)". Book by Terry Pratchett (p. 114), 1992.

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• 

  If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, Motivational, Trust

  FaceBook post by Terry Pratchett from Aug 28, 2015

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• The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.

  Terry Pratchett

  New York, Light, Green

  "Lords and Ladies" by Terry Pratchett, Harper, (p. 282), October 2008.

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• Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.

  Terry Pratchett

  Dignity, Habit, Gravity

  Terry Pratchett (2008). “Small Gods: (Discworld Novel 13)”, p.10, Random House

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