I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.
I loved Lucille Ball growing up.
The only time I took Ecstacy was years and years ago. It was absolutely amazing.
If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.
Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.
Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'
The BBC is a victim of its own independence.
Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV.
I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes.
I think the word is adult!
Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.
You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.
I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.
My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.
Tolerance is forced on people in London.
Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.
Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?'
Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.
My life could have been so grim really, really grim.
I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.
All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.
An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.
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