Underwear Quotes - Page 4

• I seriously doubt that the Santa police do an underwear check." -Cora

  Sarah Dessen

  Police, Doubt, Santa

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• What is going to happen in the course of my day that will be an improvement over lying on something very soft, underneath something very warm, wearing only underwear, doing absolutely nothing, all by myself?

  Chuck Klosterman

  Lying, Improvement, Courses

  Chuck Klosterman (2008). “Downtown Owl: A Novel”, p.124, Simon and Schuster

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• Messin with me, is like wearing cheese underwear down rat alley. Ollie Chandler in Deception

  Randy Alcorn

  Deception, Rats, Cheese

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• I stroll along serenely, with my eyes, my shoes, my rage, forgetting everything, I walk by, going through office buildings and orthopedic shops, and courtyards with washing hanging from the line: underwear, towels and shirts from which slow dirty tears are falling.

  Pablo Neruda

  Dirty, Fall, Eye

  Pablo Neruda (2015). “The Poetry of Pablo Neruda”, p.61, Macmillan

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• I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.

  Randy Newman

  Talking, Dinner, Nervous

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• I collect underwear from my travels. Lace, lingerie, bodysuits... they're like souvenirs.

  Miranda Kerr

  Lingerie, Lace, Souvenirs

  "Miranda Kerr: 'Models Are Some of The Most Insecure People I've Met'". Interview with Katie Connor, www.cosmopolitan.com. October 1, 2013.

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• With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.

  Erma Bombeck

  Girl, Dirty, Hair

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession”, p.40, Open Road Media

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• You know that when Irving puts the dog in the car, it is no longer in the yard. When Edna goes to church, her head goes with her. If Doug is in the house, he must have gone through some opening unless he was born there and never left. If Sheila is alive at 9 A.M. and is alive at 5 P.M., she was also alive at noon. Zebras in the wild never wear underwear. Opening a jar of a new brand of peanut butter will not vaporize the house. People never shove meat thermometers in their ears. A gerbil is smaller than Mt. Kilimanjaro.

  Steven Pinker

  Dog, Zebras, People

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• Now that we're men, I changed my underwear.

  Patrick Star

  Men, Changed

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• I even fold this mans underwear and I like it!

  Alex Riley

  Wwe, Folds

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• I come home from work early one day, and I see a guy jogging down the street in his underwear. I ask him, "Why are you jogging in your underwear?" He says, "You came home from work early".

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Home, Humor

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• I shared a bed with my sister, Grace, until I was seventeen years old. She was afraid to sleep alone and would begin asking me around 5:00 P.M. every day whether she could sleep with me. I put on a big show of saying no, taking pleasure in watching her beg and sulk, but eventually I always relented. Her sticky, muscly little body thrashed beside me every night as I read Anne Sexton, watched reruns of SNL, sometimes even as I slipped my hand into my underwear to figure some stuff out.

  Lena Dunham

  Sleep, Night, Hands

  Lena Dunham (2014). “Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned"”, p.26, Random House

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• Operating systems are like underwear — nobody really wants to look at them.

  Bill Joy

  Looks, Want, Operating Systems

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• Edible underwear?... even during sex, we can't stop eating.

  Greg Giraldo

  Sex, Eating

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• The greatest sex toy ever invented may be the telephone. Sometimes there's nothing more erotic than a disembodied voice, no question more tantalizing than a whispered 'What are you wearing?' Especially when you can make up the answer. On the phone your hair always looks great, your legs are always shaved, your worst pair of underwear becomes a silk negligee.

  Meghan Daum

  Sex, Voice, Phones

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• This world is bullshit. And just because I appear in music video wherein I am in my underwear, and make young women feel not good enough so that they become anorxeic; and okay, maybe because of that I became popular more quickly than other singers who are, I don't know, maybe more talented or better songwriters. That doesn't matter because, and... um... my boyfriend is a magician, and he can pull a quarter out of your ear and say things like 'We have not met before have we?' Go with yourself.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Bullshit, Not Good Enough, My Boyfriend

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• [Jenks]"I think you're all screwy in the head," he said when Bis nodded his encouragement. "But go ahead. I've got Quen's number in my phone. I'll call him if you both explode in a flash of black underwear and money so I won't have to fly all the way home.

  Kim Harrison

  Encouragement, Home, Thinking

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• Despite my mentors advice that I would never go to heaven fishing with a weighted nymph and a float, I took it up. (As an aside, it is now amazing to me how much of the advice from my elders in those days has not come true. I have not gone blind or deaf, despite some early teen advice to the contrary. The only time I was ever involved in a car accident, I was taken to hospital, but no one seemed to take the slightest bit of notice as to whether I had on clean underwear or not. I have, as yet, been unable to test the nymph and heaven advice.)

  Tony Bishop

  Taken, Clean Underwear, Sea

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• I always listen to NSYNC's "Tearin' Up My Heart." It reminds me to wear a bra.

  Britney Spears

  Heart, Nsync, Bras

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• Lust: Which senator once reached for a handkerchief in his pocket and proceeded to wipe his brow with a pair of women's panties?

  Brad Meltzer

  Lust, Pockets, Wipe

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• There is a lot of catarsis that passes itself off as art or comedy and I'm kind of critical of that. I think that just because you bare your soul or underwear or private moments it doesn't , or necessarily make for entertainment, or good writing, or funny writing.

  Mindy Kaling

  Art, Writing, Thinking

  Source: www.believermag.com

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• I have a recurring daymare that when the Glorious People's SWAT Teams smash their way in, most of us - by which I mean members of the general freedom movement - will be caught flatfooted, sitting in our underwear behind our computer monitors, guzzling Jolt and gorging on Cheetos, while arguing with our friends and enemies online about immigration or abortion, two of the issues that the Lefties know they can always rely on to keep that general freedom movement divided and powerless.

  L. Neil Smith

  Team, Mean, Two

  "Pushing Rope". The Libertarian Enterprise, www.ncc-1776.org. February 15, 2009.

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• I'm very old-fashioned. Occasionally I do wear underwear.

  Sharon Stone

  Old Fashioned

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• So you go on and on, with this intellectual fly down, your underwear exposed, and toilette paper hanging out the back of your pants.

  Hank Green

  Intellectual, Goes On, Paper

  YouTube Chanel "vlogbrothers"/ "Stop Embarrassing Yourself", www.youtube.com. September 27, 2010.

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• Be afraid of the Chinese. I mean, the Chinese shoot down satellites in space; they hack into Google's computers; the Osama bin Laden people can't make their underwear blow up.

  Francis Fukuyama

  Mean, Blow, Space

  "The Colbert Report", May 02, 2011.

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