Remote Control Quotes

• Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Tape, Fundamentals

  59 Copy quote

• Unfortunately, real life doesn't have a remote control.

  Simone Elkeles

  Real, Real Life

  Simone Elkeles (2011). “Perfect Chemistry”, p.188, Simon and Schuster

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• He who controls the remote, controls the world

  Julie Garwood

  World

  Julie Garwood (2012). “Heartbreaker”, p.102, Simon and Schuster

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• Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Batteries

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• I just need to do something new.... I've got the big remote control of life in my hands, and I'm ready to start pushing some buttons.

  Cecelia Ahern

  Change, Hands, Buttons

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• Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base.

  William Arthur Ward

  Inspirational, Exercise, Television

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• 55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

  Jay Leno

  Mean, Week, Minutes

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• Remote control. Ingenious contradiction of terms. Fits like a handshake. Aims like a gun.

  Roger Rosenblatt

  Gun, Weapons, Fit

  Roger Rosenblatt (1994). “The Man in the Water: Essays and Stories”, Random House

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• I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor

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• Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, allowing us to do things more quickly and efficiently. But too often it seems to make things harder, leaving us with fifty-button remote controls, digital cameras with hundreds of mysterious features and book-length manuals, and cars with dashboard systems worthy of the space shuttle.

  James Surowiecki

  Book, Technology, Space

  "Feature Presentation". www.newyorker.com. May 28, 2007.

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• A small handgun makes any TV remote control.

  David Letterman

  Tvs, Handguns

  David Letterman (1994). “Late Night Top Ten Lists”

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• This is not a business where you can hand off and run by remote control.

  David Neeleman

  Running, Hands

  "ON THE RECORD: DAVID NEELEMAN / Jetblue Airways". San Francisco Chronicle Interview, www.sfgate.com. September 12, 2004.

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• The rest of the world loves soccer. Surely we must be missing something. Uh, isn't that what the Russians told us about communism? There's a good reason why you don't care about soccer - it's because you are an American and hating soccer is more American than mom's apple pie, driving a pick-up and spending Saturday afternoon channel-surfing with the remote control.

  Tom Weir

  Soccer, Mom, Hate

  7 Copy quote

• AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Humor, Offering

  4 Copy quote

• You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Two

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• Prayer is not a way to get what we want to happen, like the remote control that comes with the television set. I think that prayer may be less about asking for the things we are attached to than it is about relinquishing our attachments in some way. It can take us beyond fear, which is an attachment, and beyond hope, which is another form of attachment. It can help us remember the nature of the world and the nature of life, not on an intellectual level but in a deep and experiential way. When we pray, we don't change the world, we change ourselves. We change our consciousness.

  Rachel Naomi Remen

  Prayer, Thinking, Attachment

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• I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.

  Gilbert Gottfried

  People, Hitting, Shows

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• A lot of times when I buy a lot of toys, I get a little jealous and keep one or two for myself. So I've got a couple of drones. I've got a couple of remote-control cars. I like to have fun

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Couple, Fun, Jealous

  Source: www.popsugar.com

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• About the book of Job: If it were today, God might be asking "How does DNA carry traits? How are instincts passed on in animals? How does consciousness arise in the human body and brain, and what is consciousness? What is dark matter? How did the big bang happen? Why does the speed of light appear to be absolute? Is cold fusion possible? How do you program a TV remote control?

  Brian D. McLaren

  Jobs, Fun, Book

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• So the absurdity of happiness is that it is embarrassing to discuss or even mention, impossible to define or measure, may not be achievable at all - or, at best, only intermittently and unconsciously - and may even turn into its opposite if directly pursued, but that it frequently turns up unexpectedly in the course of pursuing something else. There is no tease more infuriating...It is tempting to forget the whole thing and simply fall back on the couch with a remote control in one hand and a beer in the other.

  Michael Foley

  Fall, Beer, Hands

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• An American has invented a remote control that will turn off any telly within a 20ft radius. What a marvellous device! What a splendid invention! What a really helpful and improving way of devoting your time to building something that turns off culture. Next week, I'm instigating Burn a Book Week, to encourage even more conversation. I've come up with a fantastic little device which I'll call a box of matches.

  A. A. Gill

  Book, Next Week, Culture

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• The prescription for better health care is more freedom to innovate, not remote-control surgery from Washington.

  Arnold Kling

  Care, Surgery, Prescriptions

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• People say I talk slowly. I talk in a way sometimes called laconic. The phone rings, I answer, and people ask if they've woken me up. I lose my way in the middle of sentences, leaving people hanging for minutes. I have no control over it. I'll be talking, and will be interested in what I'm saying, but then someone-I'm convinced this what happens-someone-and I wish I knew who, because I would have words for this person-for a short time, borrows my head. Like a battery is borrowed from a calculator to power a remote control, someone, always, is borrowing my head.

  Dave Eggers

  Phones, Talking, Control Someone

  Dave Eggers (2011). “You Shall Know Our Velocity”, p.23, Penguin UK

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• Being deaf and partially blind means I don't really watch TV. I wouldn't know what to do with a remote control.

  Eric Sykes

  Mean, Watches, Tvs

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• Big money and big business, corporations and commerce, are again the undisputed overlords of politics and government. The White House, the Congress and, increasingly, the judiciary, reflect their interests. We appear to have a government run by remote control from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the National Association of Manufacturers and the American Petroleum Institute. To hell with everyone else.

  Bill Moyers

  Running, Government, White

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