Redneck Quotes - Page 12

• You might be a redneck if you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kids, Car, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Orange Juice, Might, Said

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• You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  House, Might, Wheels

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• I rely heavily on Thomas Sowell's magnificent book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals. He points out that blacks in the North perform better, academically, than whites in the South where they did not have much of an emphasis on learning. But please note that I'm not the one making that argument in that section about Michael Moore. And by the way, I'm not a man. White men have done a lot. It's silly to write a book titled, Stupid White Men.

  Ann Coulter

  Stupid, Silly, Book

  Source: aalbc.com

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• You might be a redneck if The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Army, Might, Salvation

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• They [Christian rednecks] were so stupid that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were printed on the bottom.

  Joe Bageant

  Christian, Stupid, Religion

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• You might be a redneck if your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Shoes, Numbers, Might

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.224, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• You might be a redneck if you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mom, Girlfriend, Shopping

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• You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Grandma, Shoes, Might

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• You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Over You, Cash, Might

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• You might be a redneck if your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Income, Might, Pawns

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• You might be a redneck if the tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Men, Might, Our Family

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• You might be a redneck if you celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Believe, Groundhog Day, Might

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• I met a redneck on a Grecian isle who did the Goat Dance very well.

  Joni Mitchell

  Dancing, Goats, Mets

  Song: California

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• I kinda like Florida. It's hot as hell, but we moved to Tallahassee, which is so close to Georgia. It really wasn't Florida the way people think of Florida. It wasn't south Florida. But you could still easily drive to Panama City Beach and get a little bit of Redneck Riviera if you want that. Get some airbrushed T-shirts on, and you're done.

  Tony Hale

  Beach, Thinking, Cities

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• If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Bail, Might, Taxes

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• I'm learning to hunt with rifles, because if you think about it, hunting gets you the healthiest meat - organic, free-range food. It's a totally yuppie spin on what I thought was kind of a redneck occupation.

  Sarah Wayne Callies

  Thinking, Hunting, Yuppies

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• Thomas Sowell is America's foremost public intellectual and for good reason. His work covers almost every subject imaginable- race, economics, Marxism, ethnic groups, immigration patterns, just to name a few. He is persuasive and provocative and always scintillating. I've read all his books and never been even faintly disappointed. Black Rednecks & White Liberals is no exception.

  Fred Barnes

  Book, Race, Names

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• You might be a redneck if your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Home, Beer, Towns

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• Reardan is the rich white farm town that sits in the wheat fields exactly 22 miles away from the Rez. And it's a hick town I suppose filled with farmers and rednecks and racists cops who stop every Indian that drives through. During one week when I was little dad got stopped three times for DWI- Driving While Indian.

  Sherman Alexie

  Dad, Wheat Fields, White

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• Eleven on a scale of ten, honey, let me introduce you to my redneck friend.

  Jackson Browne

  Honey, Introducing, Scales

  Song: Red Neck Friend, Album: For Everyman, 1973

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• Well, I quit those days and my redneck ways.

  Elton John

  Honesty, Way, Quitting

  Song: Honky Cat Elton John Bernie Taupin

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• I'd breed a little liberal army in the wood, just like these redneck lunatics I see at the local bar with their tribe of mutant inbred piglets.

  Lou Reed

  Army, Piglet, Woods

  Song: Beginning of a Great Adventure, Album: New York

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• I knew about Elvis. Of course, everybody knew about him then.

  Minnie Pearl

  Courses

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• You might be a redneck if your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Might, Shirts, Sleeves

  8 Copy quote