Pet Quotes - Page 20

• Wow. Who would want a fish for a pet when they could have a turtle?!

  Christopher Paul Curtis

  Turtles, Want, Wow

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• Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.

  Mark Twain

  Education, Dog, School

  Mark Twain (2016). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain”, p.46, Chartwell

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• Dogs have their day but cats have 365.

  Lilian Jackson Braun

  Dog, Cat

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• The man behind the check-in counter gives the impression that he has just axe-murdered the motel's owner (and family, and family pet) and is going through these procedures of hostelry so as not to arouse suspicion.

  Paul Quarrington

  Men, Giving, Checks

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• I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humor, Car

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• Your pet is not your friend. It is your hostage.

  Scott Dikkers

  Hostage

  Scott Dikkers (2009). “You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day”, p.189, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death.

  Milan Kundera

  Dog, Animal, Law

  "The Unbearable Lightness of Being". Book by Milan Kundera, 1984.

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• i made myself a snowball As perfect as can be. I thought I'd keep it as a pet, And let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas And a pillow for it's head. Then last night it ran away, But first - It wet the bed.

  Shel Silverstein

  Sleep, Night, Perfect

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• I gave my mother a matching set [of mugs] for Christmas, and she accepted them as graciously as possible, announcing that they would make the perfect pet bowls. The mugs were set on the kitchen floor and remained there until the cat chipped a tooth and went on a hunger strike.

  David Sedaris

  Mother, Cat, Hunger Strike

  David Sedaris (2000). “Me talk pretty one day”

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• Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do, it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.

  Daniel Handler

  Coffee, Tables, Want

  "The Slippery Slope". Book by Daniel Handler, September 23, 2003.

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• It looks as if I was thinking what you were thinking." "Actually, you weren't. I was really thinking I needed to ask you a question." "What was that?" "Do you think we should ask Goatee Guy how to find the caterer?" I smiled at him innocently as his eyebrows pratically met above his nose. "I am never going to share my pet peeves with you again."

  Jennifer Rardin

  Thinking, Eyebrows, Guy

  Jennifer Rardin (2011). “Another One Bites The Dust: Book two in the Jaz Parks sequence”, p.36, Hachette UK

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• The last word in ignorance is the man who says of an animal or plant: 'What good is it?

  Aldo Leopold

  Nature, Ignorance, Animal

  Aldo Leopold (2013). “Aldo Leopold: A Sand County Almanac & Other Writings on Conservation and Ecology: (Library of America #238)”, p.557, Library of America

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• Here, kitty, kitty, Chico says. The cover of his cage is still on, making his tiny clown voice slightly muffled. I feel bad for him under there, just waiting to start his evil little day...Freud walks toward Chico in his slinky fashion, sits under his cage and just stares. We have satanic pets...our pets seem to have made a pact with the devil.

  Deb Caletti

  Fashion, Voice, Evil

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• Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

  Daniel Handler

  Philosophy, May, Attractive

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• After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.

  Charlotte Gray

  Cat, Animal, Humanity

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• May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

  Christopher Moore

  Sheep, Irs, May

  Christopher Moore (2009). “Practical Demonkeeping”, p.53, Zondervan

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• You belong with me, Scarlett, haven't you figured that out? And the world is where we belong, all of it. We're not home-and-hearth people. We're the adventurers, the buccaneers, the blockade runners. Without challenge, we're only half alive. We can go anywhere, and as long as we're together, it will belong to us. But, my pet, we'll never belong to it. That's for other people, not for us.

  Alexandra Ripley

  Home, Long, People

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• I believe that the best way to create good living conditions for any animal, whether it's a captive animal living in a zoo, a farm animal or a pet, is to base animal welfare programs on the core emotion systems in the brain. My theory is that the environment animals live in should activate their positive emotions as much as possible, and not activate their negative emotions any more than necessary. If we get the animal's emotions rights, we will have fewer problem behaviors... All animals and people have the same core emotion systems in the brain.

  Temple Grandin

  Zoos, Believe, Animal

  Temple Grandin, Catherine Johnson (2010). “Animals Make Us Human: Creating the Best Life for Animals”, p.3, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.

  John Muir

  Life, Beautiful, Death

  John Muir (2015). “A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf (With Original Drawings & Photographs): Adventure Memoirs, Travel Sketches & Wilderness Studies”, p.43, e-artnow

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• - Might it console you to know that I expect nothing but torture from her return? That I regard you as a bird of paradise? She shook her head. - That my admiration for you is painfully strong? - I want Van – she cried – and not intangible admiration. - Intangible? You goose. You my gauge it, you may brush it once very lightly with the knuckles of you gloved hand. I said knuckles. I said once. That will do. I can't kiss you. Not even your burning face. Good-bye, pet. Tell Edmond to take a nap after he returns. I shall need him at two in the morning.

  Vladimir Nabokov

  Morning, Strong, Kissing

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• Monsters cannot be announced. One cannot say: 'Here are our monsters,' without immediately turning the monsters into pets.

  Jacques Derrida

  Creativity, Imagination, Monsters

  "Some Statements and Truisms about Neologisms, Newisms, Postisms, Parasitisms, and other small Seismisms", The States of Theory, ed. David Carroll, New York: Columbia University Press, 1989.

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• Sometimes I had the feeling that all of us in his family were like pets to him. The dog you take for a walk, the cat you play with and that curls up in your lap, purring, to be stroked - you can be fond of them, you can even need them to a certain extent, and nonetheless the whole thing - buying pet food, cleaning up the cat box, and trips to the vet - is really too much. Your life is elsewhere.

  Bernhard Schlink

  Dog, Cat, Play

  Bernhard Schlink (2001). “The Reader”, p.30, Vintage

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• Jace shook his blond head in exasperation. "You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn't you? You couldn't just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?

  Cassandra Clare

  Crazy, Jail, Tiles

  Cassandra Clare (2011). “Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instrument Series (4 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels”, p.1055, Simon and Schuster

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• That is the injustice of a woman's lot. A woman has to bring up her children; and that means to restrain them, to deny them things they want, to set them tasks, to punish them when they do wrong, to do all the unpleasant things. And then the father, who has nothing to do but pet them and spoil them, comes in when all her work is done and steals their affection from her.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Children, Father, Mean

  George Bernard Shaw (2008). “Pygmalion and Major Barbara”, p.78, Bantam Classics

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• People who really appreciated animals always asked their names.

  Lilian Jackson Braun

  Animal, Names, People

  Lilian Jackson Braun (1986). “The Cat Who Ate Danish Modern”, p.78, Penguin

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