Getting Laid Quotes - Page 3

• Publishing a sophisticated men's magazine seemed to me the best possible way of fulfilling a dream I'd been nurturing ever since I was a teenager: to get laid a lot.

  Hugh Hefner

  Dream, Sex, Teenager

  Interview with Larry Dubois, iplayboy.com. January 1, 1974.

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• Not half as much as I’d miss me if you killed me. (He blinked like a girl and leaned against Ash’s shoulder.) Please don’t hurt me, Ash. Please. I don’t want to die while I’m still a virgin. At least let me get laid before you kill me – which according to my mom I can’t do until I’m married and I can’t do that until I finish college. So you have to wait a good ten years before you snuff me. Deal? (Nick)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Girl, Mom, Hurt

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2010). “Infinity: Chronicles of Nick”, p.204, St. Martin's Griffin

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• I want to be with you, too,” he said. “I’ll come to your room after dawn.” Qhuinn didn’t want to ask. Had to. “What about Saxton?” “He’s gone on vacation.” Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally. “For how long?” “Just a couple of days.” Too bad. Any chance of an extension…for like a year or two? Maybe forever? “Okay, it’s a—” Qhuinn stopped himself before he finished that with date. There was no sense kidding himself. Saxton was away. Blay wanted to get laid. And Qhuinn was more than willing to supply the male with what he wanted.

  J.R. Ward

  Couple, Vacation, Years

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• I'll never get laid trying to keep you safe. You're a train wreck on steroids.

  Karen Marie Moning

  Train Wrecks, Trying, Safe

  Karen Marie Moning (2016). “The Fever Series 7-Book Bundle: Darkfever, Bloodfever, Faefever, Dreamfever, Shadowfever, Iced, Burned”, p.1702, Dell

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• I don't think I ever believed in love, not really. Just though it was something James Bond made up, a long time ago, to get laid.

  Maggie Stiefvater

  Thinking, Long, Made

  Maggie Stiefvater (2011). “Shiver Trilogy (Shiver, Linger, Forever)”, p.743, Scholastic Inc.

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• If believing absurd falsehoods increase the odds of getting laid or avoiding predators, your brain will believe those falsehoods with all its metaphorical little heart.

  Peter Watts

  Believe, Heart, Odds

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• Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.

  George Carlin

  Thinking, Bed, Coats

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• I got body lice in Germany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid.

  Billie Joe Armstrong

  Germany, Body, Lice

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• Most of the artists were trying to make a living, trying to get laid, trying to figure out who they were. They weren't trying to change the world. That's what other people put on them. I knew all those people. I knew them all, intimately and well. Bob Dylan. I would say that Bob Dylan is as interested in money as any person I've known in my life. That's just the truth.

  David Geffen

  Artist, People, Trying

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• Poetry is much more important than the truth, and, if you don't believe that, try using the two methods to get laid.

  Mark Forsyth

  Believe, Two, Important

  Mark Forsyth (2011). “The Etymologicon: A Circular Stroll through the Hidden Connections of the English Language”, p.203, Icon Books Ltd

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• Is it a good hot dog? That’s all I want to know … I don’t think the personal health and purity of my colon is that important compared to pleasure. As a chef, I’m not your dietitian or your ethicist. I’m in the pleasure business …. My responsibility is to give you the most delicious tomato that I can afford, given the circumstances, and maybe increase the likelihood that you get laid after dinner.

  Anthony Bourdain

  Dog, Responsibility, Thinking

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• Can you believe our Ash is getting laid? Our baby is growing up. I'm so proud!

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Baby, Growing Up, Believe

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• The sexual revolution transformed the American West: Now even cowboys can get laid.

  Edward Abbey

  Cowboy, American West, Revolution

  Edward Abbey (2015). “A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”, p.54, RosettaBooks

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• If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

  Adam Carolla

  Funny, Humor, Ideas

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• Practice. I used to sit on the edge of my bed with a six-pack of Tuborg. My brother would go out to party and get laid, come home at 3am., and I would still be playing with myself.

  Eddie Van Halen

  Brother, Party, Home

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• Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

  Doug Benson

  Funny, Guy, Genius

  "Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins". www.imdb.com. 2004.

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• According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.

  Chelsea Handler

  Teacher, School, Kissing

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• The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.

  Demetri Martin

  Comedy, Reason

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• We don't like mystery. You like mystery, 'cause it's not a mystery to you; you know when you're gonna get laid.

  Bill Maher

  Causes, Mystery, Knows

  "Bill Maher: The Golden Goose Special". TV Movie, 1997.

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• These days most women have jobs that last way too long. A lot of people in New York barely have time to get laid.

  Nora Ephron

  Jobs, New York, Long

  "The dirty little secrets of Nora Ephron". Interview with Catherine Shoard, www.theguardian.com. September 9, 2009.

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• What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.

  Jay Mohr

  People, Comedian, Trying

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• Like every young man growing up in the puritanical Eisenhower 1950s, I had a hell of a time getting laid. I suppose that's why I was always intrigued by, and terribly envious of men who had no trouble at all in bedding a vast variety of desirable women.

  Edward Sorel

  Growing Up, Men, Hell

  Source: classic.esquire.com

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• It's funny to see my friends going through that middle-age thing about losing their hair. I went through it in college. They all say, "Oh my God, I'm getting old. I'm never getting laid again." Shut up. Yes, you are.

  Kenny Chesney

  College, Hair, Age

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• You really think all of those indie music dorks go to SXSW every year to check out music? They go there to wear their laminates and act important and try to get laid.

  Mark Kozelek

  Thinking, Years, Important

  Interview with Laura Snapes, pitchfork.com. May 23, 2012.

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• The act of writing itself isn't outrageous. And the institution subtly and insidiously works on you in such a way that though you seem to have freedom you become a servant. Your main issue is to get promoted to the next thing. Or get invited to a picnic. Or get tenure. Or get laid.

  Gerald Stern

  Writing, Issues, Picnics

  Source: therumpus.net

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