Funny Motivational Quotes - Page 5

• There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Love, Mom, Mother

  60 Copy quote

• I don't know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, 'I need to act like a man, or I need to tone it down to be successful.' That's a very good way to keep women down.

  Zooey Deschanel

  Badass, Women, Successful

  8 Copy quote

• The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open.

  Zig Ziglar

  Inspirational, Funny Work, Order

  64 Copy quote

• If you don't know where you are currently standing, you're dead.

  Samuel Beckett

  Baseball, Goals Dreams, Yankees

  111 Copy quote

• Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  Elbert Hubbard (1917). “In the Spotlight: Personal Experiences of Elbert Hubbard on the American Stage”

  160 Copy quote

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• I'm old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I'd tell them where to put it.

  Dolly Parton

  Funny, Enough, Cranky

  Twitter post from Jul 11, 2013

  34 Copy quote

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• Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.

  Richard Bach

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah". Book by Richard Bach, 1977.

  61 Copy quote

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• Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  121 Copy quote

• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

  Margaret Mead

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  263 Copy quote

• Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

  Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

  Morning, Clock, Favourite

  12 Copy quote
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  Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

  Truman Capote

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  Truman Capote, M. Thomas Inge (1987). “Truman Capote: Conversations”, p.189, Univ. Press of Mississippi

  111 Copy quote

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• If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.

  Jim Rohn

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  FaceBook post by Jim Rohn from Oct 06, 2015

  158 Copy quote

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• ‎Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.

  Voltaire

  Positive, Funny Inspirational, Short Life

  Elizabeth Cooney Leister, Voltaire (1985). “Voltaire's Candide”, Barrons Educational Series Incorporated

  131 Copy quote

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  People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

  Isaac Asimov

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners" edited by Geoff Tibballs, (p. 299), 2004.

  383 Copy quote

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• So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

  Tina Fey

  Inspirational, Witty, Moving

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

  57 Copy quote

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• If you're going through hell, keep going.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

  355 Copy quote

• My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Leadership, Sarcastic

  "Mitch All Together". Live album by Mitch Hedberg, December 9, 2003.

  114 Copy quote

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