Funny Happy Fathers Day Quotes - Page 2

There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.

Jim Gaffigan

Fathers Day, Song, Children

FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from May 09, 2012

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The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.

Timothy J. Russert

Family, Fathers Day, Dad

19 Copy quote
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain

Love, Funny, Motivational

Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, 'You're tearing up the grass'; 'We're not raising grass,' Dad would reply. 'We're raising boys.'

Harmon Killebrew

Family, Fathers Day, Mother

"Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years.

Ernest Hemingway

Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.

Sigmund Freud

Daughter, Fathers Day, Strong

Sigmund Freud, James Strachey, Anna Freud, Carrie Lee Rothgeb (1961). “The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud”

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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Spike Milligan

Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

29 Copy quote
Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

Family, Fathers Day, Mother

Robert Orben (2012). “2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing”, p.108, Doubleday

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If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Bill Cosby

Funny, Fathers Day, Dad

46 Copy quote
Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Ray Romano

Funny, Fathers Day, Children

67 Copy quote
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

Jim Valvano

Inspirational, Basketball, Daughter

164 Copy quote
My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

Clarence Budington Kelland

Life, Fathers Day, Children

87 Copy quote
One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.

George Herbert

Relationship, Daughter, Fathers Day

George Herbert (1836). “The works of George Herbert. containing Parentalia, the 2nd copy wanting the 1st sheet of vol.2].”, p.168

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It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.

Pope John XXIII

Fathers Day, Children, Dad

94 Copy quote
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

Steve Martin

Fathers Day, Baby, Dad

41 Copy quote
When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

Jerry Lewis

Fathers Day, Zoos, Dad

164 Copy quote
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.

Phyllis Diller

Mothers Day, Mom, Fathers Day

68 Copy quote
To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.

Euripides

Mother Daughter, Fathers Day, Dad

52 Copy quote
It is a wise father that knows his own child.

William Shakespeare

Family, Wise, Meaningful

'The Merchant of Venice' (1596-8) act 2, sc. 2, l. [83]

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The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

Confucius

Fathers Day, Dad, Children

42 Copy quote
A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Fathers Day, Dad, Men

FaceBook post by Gabriel García Márquez from Jun 15, 2014

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Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Confucius

Love, Inspirational, Life

171 Copy quote
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

Jeff Foxworthy

Funny, Fathers Day, Humor

FaceBook post by Jeff Foxworthy from Jun 25, 2012

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