Time lessens all extremes and reduces 'em to mediums and unconcern.
Kings that made laws, first broke 'em.
God makes all things good; Man meddles with 'em and they become evil.
Yer feelin's is like ras'berry vinegar: if you're skeered to use 'em an' keep on savin' 'em, first thing you know they've done 'vaporated!
Somehow, I never feel like good things b'long to me till I pass 'em on to somebody else.
Well everyone's a world class ground fighter until they get a punch to the face. So that's how I deal with all these ground fighters like everyone else. I hit 'em in the head and there goes your F**king black belt.
..you just get stoned, get the ideas in your head and then do 'em. And don't bullshit. I mean that's the thing about doin' that guerrilla theatre. You be prepared to die to prove your point.
Those who have made unhappy marriages walk on stilts, while the happy ones are on a level with the crowd. No one sees 'em!
Basketball isn't a game; It's an art form. You master the fundamentals so you can forget 'em, so you can improvise and just concentrate on what really matters: getting buckets.
Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.
These is old blues / and I sing em like any woman do. / These the old blues / and I sing em, sing em, sing em. Just like any woman do. / My life ain't done yet. / Naw. My song ain't through.
Oughta be a law everybody has to take a trip every two years just to make 'em realize how good home is.
I kinda liked ol' Shakespeare and them guys, you know. I went back and got my master's just in case. I thought, if I ever needed it, I'd have the sheepskin to show people no matter how dumb I looked, actually I was about half intelligent. I got the degree to let 'em know I wasn't as dumb as I acted.
If you see anyone from about sixteen to sixty-five and they’re male, shoot ’em. Kill every male you see.
If Natur has gifted a man with powers of argeyment, a man has a right to make the best of 'em, and has not a right to stand on false delicacy, and deny that he is so gifted; for that is a turning of his back on Natur, a flouting of her, a slighting of her precious caskets, and a proving of one's self to be a swine that isn't worth her scattering pearls before.
He says-him as was here just now-'When Tom shut up the house, mate, to go to rack, the beds was left, all made, like as if somebody was a-going to sleep in every bed. And if you was to walk through the bedrooms now, you'd see the ragged mouldy bedclothes a heaving and a heaving like seas. And a heaving and a heaving with what?' he says. 'Why, with the rats under 'em.'
All the housemaid hopes is, happiness for 'em - but marriage is a lottery, and the more she thinks about it, the more she feels the independence and the safety of a single life.
I've lost a million and a half on the horses and dice in the last two years. And the funny part is, I still like 'em, and if someone handed me another million I'd put it right in the nose of some horse that looked good to me.
Knives are like credit cards; don't leave home without 'em and always carry several
I'm always just carrying a Tupperware cup, ever since my mom went to a Tupperware party and got 'em. I've left them strewn all over the U.S. and Europe. I drink iced tea out of them.
The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did not speak English. He spoke 'Gym.' One day I was playing basketball and Mr. Caruso told me I would have to get an athletic supporter. He didn't express himself exactly that way, though. He said, 'Hey, you, one day you're gonna go up for a rebound and the family jewels aren't gonna go with ya.' I had no idea what he was talking about. Next day I showed up for practice without my watch and my mezuzah. He said, 'Did ya take care of the family jewels?' I said, 'I left 'em in my locker.' Took us a half hour to revive Mr. Caruso.
Why doncha come on over to the house and I'll show 'em to ya?
Critics who attack my wife bug me. It makes me want to pay 'em a visit so I could give 'em a good punch in the nose.
I think all kids understand from a very tender age that dinosaurs were real. They really walked around. That instantly sets them apart from monsters. And it instantly makes them safe. Because you can love 'em, and they're never going to bite you. They're not like a dog. They're safer than a pet, in a weird way.
The ultimate high: A man's abilities equaling his opinion of'em.
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