I absolutely want to have a career where you make'em laugh and make'em cry. It's all theater.
My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.
Now, I know there are many Americans who say, 'Get out of Afghanistan. Bring 'em all home.' And there are others who say, 'Put in hundreds of thousands of more.'
I fell in love with Erica Kane the summer before my freshman year of high school. Like all red-blooded teen American boys, I'd come home from water polo practice and eat a box of Entenmann's Pop'Ems donut holes in front of the TV while obsessively fawning over 'All My Children' and Erica, her clothes, and her narcissistic attitude.
Come, come, leave business to idlers, and wisdom to fools: they have need of 'em: wit be my faculty, and pleasure my occupation, and let father Time shake his glass.
I don't make demands. I don't tell you how it should be. I'll give you options, and it's up to you to select or throw 'em away. That should be the headline: If you're insecure, don't call.
But no, I don't really like romantic comedies, so I don't really care. I never go see 'em.
I want to make the IKEA of clothes for fat girls and boys. Cheap, affordable, basic - but ethically made. Basics, you know? Like Spanx - I'm still confused as to why retailers haven't ripped them off yet and done it well. It's because they don't understand the basics behind it. I love Spanx. I'm wearing 'em right now!
In Houston everyone owns guns and uses 'em - sometimes just for the hell of it.
My mother knew how to read music and everything. But I just kinda learned off of records. And so, I was listening to records and I'd play 'em over and over.
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish. God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.
People say I seem very negative about new music - well, if somebody asks me what I think of Keane, I'll tell 'em. I don't like 'em. I'll obviously take it a step too far and grossly insult the keyboard player's mam or summat, but I'm afraid that's just me.
A lot of the motivation for doing the 'Make 'Em Laugh' on SNL was because I had just finished shooting 'Inception,' where there were zero-gravity scenes and I got into really good shape and was training and did all these stunts. Coming off of that, that instilled me with the confidence to do 'Make 'Em Laugh.'
Well, wolves will pretty rarely hunt. You're vulnerable if you're on your own or injured. But for lone wolves, get up high, show them that you're not injured, face 'em off, be authoritarian with it, and look 'em in the eye.
In Van Halen there were moments, like in some of the ballads, I put my heart and soul into those records. Those lyrics when I sang 'em, I gave myself goosebumps.
If anybody dared say wrestling was fake, you'd punch 'em. And you never used the word show. If you used the word show it was an insult.
Thousands of people come to LA every year, and some of them just disappear. Somebody gets them. In the States around 100,000 people vanish each year. I don't know what that means. Maybe there's something that just pulls 'em out.
The only animals I'm not comfortable with are parrots, but I'm learning as I go. I'm getting better and better at 'em. I really am.
As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
I never prayed for no money, and I never prayed for no fame. I said, 'I'll take care of that myself. You just keep me healthy and I'll do all I can to try to turn people around, to try to steer 'em in the right direction.' That's the whole trip in life, ya know.
Why don't women have respect for themselves nowadays? What happen to the woman who learned her grandmama's recipes and made her man sweet potato pie? I tell you, they don't make 'em like they used to. Will my real women stand up, please?
Who wants a stylus. You have to get em and put em away, and you lose em. Yuck. Nobody wants a stylus.
When you're me, when you're R. Kelly, everybody wants a piece of you, and if you don't give 'em a piece they'll find a way to get a piece of you one way or the other.
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