Craig Kilborn Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.

  Craig Kilborn

  Thinking, Greedy, Sensitive

  4 Copy quote

• Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.

  Craig Kilborn

  Waiting, Staff, Deals

  4 Copy quote

• Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.

  Craig Kilborn

  Lying, Years, Justice

  4 Copy quote

• Clinton said he feels safe in Harlem. It's the only place in the state Hillary is scared to look for him after dark.

  Craig Kilborn

  Dark, Looks, Safe

  4 Copy quote

• On Sunday, the president flies to the Azores islands to attend a summit with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, and here's my prediction: Bush gets voted off.

  Craig Kilborn

  Sunday, Islands, President

  4 Copy quote

• Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.

  Craig Kilborn

  Running, House, Plastic

  6 Copy quote

• George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17

  Craig Kilborn

  Thinking, Hands, Numbers

  4 Copy quote

• There has been no electricity in Baghdad for a week and the people are angry. You would be angry too if you couldn't watch your brand new stolen TV.

  Craig Kilborn

  People, Tvs, Baghdad

  5 Copy quote

• California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'

  Craig Kilborn

  California, Asking, Four

  4 Copy quote

• Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

  Craig Kilborn

  Running, Eagles, California

  5 Copy quote

• Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent.

  Craig Kilborn

  Military, Approval Rating, President

  4 Copy quote

• President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.

  Craig Kilborn

  War, President, Vietnam

  4 Copy quote

• As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.

  Craig Kilborn

  President, Routine, Six Months

  4 Copy quote

• New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

  Craig Kilborn

  Cutting, Giving, Rumor

  8 Copy quote

• President Bush is in the hot seat over Iraqi pre-war intelligence. Remember the good ol' days when the only thing the president was trying to cover up was a stain?

  Craig Kilborn

  War, Trying, President

  4 Copy quote

• Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

  Craig Kilborn

  People, Unemployment, Lasts

  4 Copy quote

• There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

  Craig Kilborn

  Jobs, Confused, New Job

  4 Copy quote

• President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

  Craig Kilborn

  Moon, Men, President

  4 Copy quote

• In Louisiana, President Bush met with over 15,000 National Guard troops. Here's the weird part, nobody remembers seeing him there.

  Craig Kilborn

  President, Troops, Louisiana

  4 Copy quote

• With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.

  Craig Kilborn

  Responsibility, Cutting, Weekend

  4 Copy quote

• The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

  Craig Kilborn

  Hurt, Numbers, President

  10 Copy quote

• Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls.

  Craig Kilborn

  War, Trials, Hussein

  4 Copy quote

• Our top story, in 'Threat Matrix Reloaded' news ... Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Muller held a press conference today to announce that Al Qaeda is planning attacks somewhere inside the United States at sometime in the future. So go about your normal lives, but with a vague sense of foreboding.

  Craig Kilborn

  Directors, United States, News

  4 Copy quote

• John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.

  Craig Kilborn

  Hurt, Iraq, Shoulders

  4 Copy quote

• Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

  Craig Kilborn

  Winning, Vices, Causes

  4 Copy quote

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