Jerome K. Jerome Quotes - Page 3

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• Truth and fact are old-fashioned and out-of-date, my friends, fit only for the dull and vulgar to live by. Appearance, not reality, is what the clever dog grasps at in these clever days. We spurn the dull-brown solid earth; we build our lives and homes in the fair-seeming rainbow-land of shadow and chimera.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Dog, Clever, Home

  Jerome K. Jerome “Clocks”, Library of Alexandria

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• Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Years, Giving, Fifty

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.131, Jerome K. Jerome

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• Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Baby, Children

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.92, Jerome K. Jerome

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• In the church is a memorial to Mrs. Sarah Hill, who bequeathed 1 pound annually, to be divided at Easter, between two boys and two girls who "have never been undutiful to their parents; who have never been known to swear or to tell untruths, to steal, or to break windows." Fancy giving up all that for five shillings a year! It is not worth it!

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Girl, Easter, Giving Up

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.240, Diderot Publishing

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• Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before. I have not a word to say against contented people so long as they keep quiet.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Intelligent, Play, Long

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.51, Jerome K. Jerome

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• It always does seem to me that I am doing more work than I should do. It is not that I object to the work, mind you; I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Mind, Doe, Looks

  Three Men in a Boat ch. 15 (1889)

  4 Copy quote

• If a man stopped me in the street and demanded of me my watch, I should refuse to give it to him. If he threatened to take it by force, I feel I should, though not a fighting man, do my best to protect it. If, on the other hand, he should assert his intention of trying to obtain it by means of an action in any court of law, I should take it out of my pocket and hand it to him, and think I had got off cheaply.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Mean, Fighting, Men

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “Three Men on the Bummel”, p.62, Jerome K. Jerome

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• Splendid cheeses they were, ripe and mellow, and with a two hundred horse-power scent about them that might have been warranted to carry three miles, and knock a man over at two hundred yards.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Horse, Men, Two

  Jerome K. Jerome (2018). “Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog) (English French Edition illustrated): Trois Hommes dans un bateau(Anglais Français édition illustré)”, p.62, Clap Publishing, LLC.

  15 Copy quote

• It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Medicine, Suffering, Patents

  Three Men in a Boat (1889) ch. 1

  9 Copy quote

• It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Passion, Thinking, Tea

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.32, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

  10 Copy quote

• Let us play the game of life as sportsmen, pocketing our winnings with a smile, leaving our losings with a shrug.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Winning, Games, Play

  Jerome K. Jerome “The Selected Work of Jerome K. Jerome”, Library of Alexandria

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• It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner; it becomes a mere matter of habit.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Men, Effort, Saint

  Jerome K. Jerome (2017). “Sketches in Lavender, Blue and Green”, p.115, The Floating Press

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• Idling has always been my strong point.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Strong

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• Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Children, Mistake, Men

  Jerome K. Jerome “Dreams”, Library of Alexandria

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• Some people are under the impression that all that is required to make a good fisherman is the ability to tell lies easily and without blushing; but this is a mistake. Mere bald fabrication is useless; the veriest tyro can manage that. It is in the circumstantial detail, the embellishing touches of probability, the general air of scrupulous - almost of pedantic - veracity, that the experienced angler is seen.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Mistake, Lying, Air

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.55, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

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• The shy man does have some slight revenge upon society for the torture it inflicts upon him.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Revenge, Men, Doe

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.78, Jerome K. Jerome

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• There is no more thrilling sensation I know of than sailing. It comes as near to flying as man has got to yet - except in dreams.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Dream, Men, Sea

  Jerome K. Jerome (2014). “Three Men in a Boat: To Say Nothing of the Dog”, p.212, Diderot Publishing

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• We like, we cherish, we are very, very fond of—but we never love again.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Cherish, Love Again

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.15, Jerome K. Jerome

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• What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Book, Reading

  Jerome K. Jerome (2015). “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.5, Sheba Blake Publishing

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• There are various methods by which you may achieve ignominy and shame. By murdering a large and respected family in cold blood and afterward depositing their bodies in the water companies' reservoir, you will gain much unpopularity in the neighborhood of your crime, and even robbing a church will get you cordially disliked, especially by the vicar. But if you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred that a fellow human creature can pour out for you, let a young mother hear you call dear baby "it.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Mother, Baby, Blood

  Jerome K. Jerome (2015). “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.71, Sheba Blake Publishing

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• In the future there are going to be no pretty girls, for the simple reason there will be no plain girls against which to contrast them. Of late I have done some systematic reading of ladies papers. The plain girl submits to a course of "treatment." In eighteen months she bursts upon Society an acknowledged beauty.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Funny, Beauty, Girl

  Jerome K. Jerome (2006). “Jerome K. Jerome: 14 Books in 1”, p.551, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax

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• The world must be rather a rough place for clever people. Ordinary folk dislike them, and as for themselves, they hate each other most cordially.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Clever, Hate, People

  Jerome K. Jerome (2015). “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.56, Sheba Blake Publishing

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• It is well we cannot see into the future. There are few boys of fourteen who would not feel ashamed of themselves at forty.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Boys, Ashamed, Fourteen

  Jerome K. Jerome (2016). “The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow”, p.137, Jerome K. Jerome

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• I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, "Poor Pussy!" and stoop down and tickle the side of its head; and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers; and all is gentleness and peace.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Cat, Iron, Pussy

  Jerome K. Jerome (2010). “Three Men in a Boat”, Giunti Editore

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• I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me. Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished. But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me. I have not got housemaid’s knee. Why I have not got housemaid’s knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it. Everything else, however, I HAVE got.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Boys, Passing Away, Might

  Jerome K. Jerome (2013). “Three Men in a Boat (illustrated) + Three Men on the Bummel + Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow: The best of Jerome K. Jerome”, p.10, e-artnow

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