Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in
The more wealth a man has, the louder his children talk.
A man forgets his good luck next day, but remembers his bad luck until next year.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
Good manners do more for a man that good looks.
A thief believes everybody steals.
Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.
If a man has money, it is usually a sign, too, that he knows how to take care of it; don't imagine his money is easy to get simply because he has plenty of it.
When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him.
There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it.
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy
Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.
When a man diets, he eats oatmeal in addition to everything else he usually eats.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.
The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers, and tax those who behave: government does little for fairly respectable people except annoy them.
Most people put off till tomorrow that which they should have done yesterday.
Every man is a reformer until reform tramps on his toes.
None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.
Nearly every man is a coward, if confronted by the proper terror.
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