Les Dawson Quotes About Mothers

Quotes about: Mothers

• My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Hands, Law

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• Mind you, I've always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I'd whisper, 'Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,' and she'd say: 'Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.'

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Angel, Beer

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

  Les Dawson

  Funny, Mother, Humorous

• I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Sex Maniac, Law

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, 'Mother, don't just stand there in the rain. Go home.'

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Rain, Home

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Exercise, Law

• My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

  Les Dawson

  Christmas, Mother, Running

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Breathing

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.12, Michael O'Mara Books

• The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Centre

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Wish

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.12, Michael O'Mara Books

• I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Moving, Law

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Wrinkles, Law

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Funeral

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Law, Oil

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• The wife's Mother said, ‘When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave.’ I said: ‘Good, I'm being buried at sea’.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Sea, Wife

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.14, Michael O'Mara Books

• I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate.

  Les Dawson

  Mother, Birth, Certificates

  Les Dawson (2012). “Les Dawson's Joke Book”, p.52, Michael O'Mara Books

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