Billy Connolly Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

  Billy Connolly

  Tickets, Different, Hecklers

  60 Copy quote

• I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

  Billy Connolly

  Believe, Angel, Marijuana

  72 Copy quote

• My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

  Billy Connolly

  Zoos, Parent, Pet

  23 Copy quote

• Don't buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They're bastards, and they do it on purpose.

  Billy Connolly

  Baby, Purpose

  "Billy Connolly". Book by Nigel Huddleston, June 2004.

  6 Copy quote

• [To audience members who were arriving late] You haven't missed a thing, I was just killing time 'til you got here.

  Billy Connolly

  Arriving, Killing, Time To Kill

  "Billy Connolly: Live 1994". DVD, 1994.

  5 Copy quote

• I’ve come in and out of America for… well, I’ve lived here for 15 years. And I’ve played here for nearly 30 years. On and off. But I’ve always played to my fan base. And I can come and do two or three nights in New York or two or three nights in L.A., and all that. But when I go away, nobody knows I’ve been gone. You know, I don’t get reviewed or anything like that. So that’s why I’ve come back and done a longer time in a smaller place, in New York. It’s always the people who live here that get a chance to know me.

  Billy Connolly

  New York, Night, Years

  Interview with Ken Plume, asitecalledfred.com. March 7, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

• I'd always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

  Billy Connolly

  People, Scared, Found

  "Billy Connolly: The lost years" by Pamela Stephenson, www.theguardian.com. September 29, 2001.

  8 Copy quote

• For me, it's about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.

  Billy Connolly

  Animal, Winning, Desire

  Quoted in Pamela Stephenson Billy (2001).

  7 Copy quote

• A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They've been offending other people for centuries.

  Billy Connolly

  Religious, Offending, People

  "Billy Connolly: 'My ambition is to be regarded as a nuisance'". Interview with Lisa O'Kelly, www.theguardian.com. March 24, 2012.

  7 Copy quote

• I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.

  Billy Connolly

  Thinking, Europe, Britain

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

  9 Copy quote

• American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head -- supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.

  Billy Connolly

  Sex, People, Dolls

  8 Copy quote

• Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'

  Billy Connolly

  Father, Balls, Had Enough

  7 Copy quote

• I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce - my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions - the absurdity of the thing.

  Billy Connolly

  Body, Crosses, Malfunction

  5 Copy quote

• ,000 people in Hampden Park. Of course they're all Scottish. Because no one else goes there. The English have an unwritten rule: they only go to places they might get back from.

  Billy Connolly

  Soccer, Football, People

  6 Copy quote

• The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don't care what you think.

  Billy Connolly

  Thinking, Swings, People

  5 Copy quote

• I spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.

  Billy Connolly

  People, Singing, Arms

  Talking about his drinking days. Quoted in Pamela Stephenson Billy (2001).

  8 Copy quote

• Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it's like they're in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.

  Billy Connolly

  Unique, Revolution, Constitution

  Source: brightestyoungthings.com

  6 Copy quote

• Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Country, Humor

  "Billy Connolly: Live 1994". DVD, 1994.

  6 Copy quote

• I'm one of the school of people who don't do research of the reality of the thing or the unreality of the thing. In all the movies I've done, I've never done any research.

  Billy Connolly

  School, Reality, People

  "Billy Connolly Is Fido!". Interview with Julian Roman, movieweb.com. June 17, 2007.

  7 Copy quote

• I love fishing. It's transcendental meditation with a punchline.

  Billy Connolly

  Rivers, Lakes, Sea

  7 Copy quote

• I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will say, "I'm a comedian" - the guy selling you the jeans. The desire to be a comedian is weird. I found it weird myself to want to be one; I was a schoolboy when I wanted to be one but I didn't know how to do it. That was 50 years ago, so times have changed greatly. There seems to be a long line of people desperate to do it and most of them are quite good.

  Billy Connolly

  Thinking, Long, People

  Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

  4 Copy quote

• I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.

  Billy Connolly

  Teacher, Jesus, Believe

  5 Copy quote

• Nothing means anything here. When they pull down an outstanding building, no one objects. Oh, maybe there's a wee protest from some collectors or something who take a picture of it before it vanishes.

  Billy Connolly

  Mean, America, Building

  4 Copy quote

• Well, the film's not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it's pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies. I had never read anything like this until I was doing the film, but Mark [Joffe, the director] and people showed me stuff where, like a flood, it mattered where the water came from. If you're flooded from above, you get the money; if you're flooded from below, you don't. What's that about?

  Billy Connolly

  Thinking, People, Water

  6 Copy quote

• I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

  Billy Connolly

  Blow, Thinking, Make You Think

  11 Copy quote

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