Bob Monkhouse Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• I got my start in silent radio.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Humor, Radio

  8 Copy quote

• I saw a specialist who asked me 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?'. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Thinking, Saws, Phrases

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

  5 Copy quote

• I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Humor, Home

  9 Copy quote

• I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Humor, Guarantees That

  Bob Monkhouse (2012). “Crying With Laughter: My Life Story”, p.329, Random House

  5 Copy quote

• You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He's the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, "oops!"

  Bob Monkhouse

  Golf, Boss, Holes

  5 Copy quote

• I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Wife, Funny Marriage, House

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

  8 Copy quote

• My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Humor, Wife

  16 Copy quote

• My father was ruined by hard drink - he sat on an icicle.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Father, Icicles, Drink

  Bob Monkhouse (2012). “Crying With Laughter: My Life Story”, p.47, Random House

  13 Copy quote

• I'll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven't done something even mildly creative.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Creative, Want, Done

  "Comedian Bob Monkhouse dies". news.bbc.co.uk. December 29, 2003.

  9 Copy quote

• I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!

  Bob Monkhouse

  Winner, Knows, Sinner

  7 Copy quote

• Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Humor, College

  6 Copy quote

• I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Real, Home, Clubs

  "Obituary". web.archive.org. December 30, 2003.

  9 Copy quote

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