Kevin Hearne Quotes - Page 2

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Dogs Eyes Giving Running Vampires Waiting War

It’s best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia.” {Right! Bacon must be heated. Knew that already, but thanks for the reminder.}

Kevin Hearne

Pneumonia, Thanks, Reminders

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.907, Del Rey

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No worries, Atticus. I will snarf surreptitiously. And I should get bacon, because my adverb was two syllables longer than yours, plus a bonus for alliteration." I grinned. "It's a deal. You're the best hound ever.

Kevin Hearne

Two, Worry, Bonus

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.911, Del Rey

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I didn't respond, because naked people never win arguments.

Kevin Hearne

Winning, People, Naked

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.288, Del Rey

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My mouth gaped and I think I might have whimpered. The Norns had obliterated him completely—a creature they’d known for centuries—because of me. It was like watching Rudolph get shot by Santa Claus.

Kevin Hearne

Thinking, Rudolph, Mouths

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.612, Del Rey

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They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.

Kevin Hearne

Fun, Winning, Games

Kevin Hearne (2012). “Trapped: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Five”, p.10, Del Rey

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The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.

Kevin Hearne

Sight, Hug, Sopranos

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Am I not a fearsome enemy?" "You frighten me primally.

Kevin Hearne

Enemy

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hounded (with two bonus short stories): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book One”, p.274, Del Rey

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Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon

Kevin Hearne

Dog, Lying, Waiting

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Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder.

Kevin Hearne

Poison, Powder, Said

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I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those drunk chicks who killed that one dude because he wouldn't have sex with them.' His professors must be so proud. I asked him if he knew what maenads were, and instead of correctly answering that it was just another name for Bacchants, he bizarrely thought I was referring to my own testicles - as in, "'Ere now, mate, don't swing that bat around me nads.'" The conversation deteriorated quickly after that.

Kevin Hearne

Sex, Swings, Names

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hexed: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Two”, p.50, Del Rey

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Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me.

Kevin Hearne

Journey, Coyotes, Said

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hexed: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Two”, p.75, Del Rey

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Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You’ll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down.

Kevin Hearne

Writing, Fire, Hands

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.643, Del Rey

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...Having no recourse, I feel back on Shakespeare. Leif would recognize it and understand the context properly. With my remaining few seconds of consciousness, I quoted Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing, who spoke these words to his former friend: "you are a Villain: I jest not." and then I collapsed into a pool of my own blood.

Kevin Hearne

Blood, Consciousness, Pool

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Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful," I said, already feeling myself warming up. "And delivered to me entirely without pain." The Morrigan sucker-punched me hard in the face, sending me sprawling in the snow and breaking my nose. "You spoke too soon and with entirely too much sarcasm," she said. "We could have parted with a kiss. Remember that.

Kevin Hearne

Pain, Kissing, Sarcasm

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.817, Del Rey

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Before he (Francis Bacon) came along, people conducted all their arguments through a series of logical fallacies or simply shouting louder than the other guy, or, if they did use facts, they only selected ones that reinforced their prejudices and advanced their ideas.” Oberon replies “don’t they still do that?

Kevin Hearne

Ideas, People, Guy

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There is always a price to pay for badassery. Neo was a badass in the Matrix and the Matrix Reloaded, but the price he had to pay was The Matrix Revolutions.

Kevin Hearne

Badass, Pay, Revolution

Kevin Hearne (2012). “Tricked: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Four”, p.70, Del Rey

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I had privately changed 'This, too, shall pass' into 'You, too, shall die'.

Kevin Hearne

This Too Shall Pass, Changed, Dies

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.211, Del Rey

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Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.

Kevin Hearne

Ideas, Two, People

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.293, Del Rey

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I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.

Kevin Hearne

Philosophy, Kind, Turns

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.413, Del Rey

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Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.

Kevin Hearne

Jeans, Answers, Way

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.583, Del Rey

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Winning ugly is still winning.

Kevin Hearne

Winning, Ugly, Stills

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.111, Del Rey

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Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around.

Kevin Hearne

Lawns, Lad, Brits

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.107, Del Rey

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Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.

Kevin Hearne

Silly, Dark, Earth

Kevin Hearne (2013). “Hunted: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Six”, p.18, Del Rey

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Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.

Kevin Hearne

Emo, Stakes, Vamp

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.711, Del Rey

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... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James Dio. My shock at this news was such that I almost completely missed the fact that we were traveling on Bifrost, the rainbow bridge to Asgard.

Kevin Hearne

Dark, Bridges, Rainbow

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.1504, Del Rey

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Born: December 9, 1970
Occupation: Novelist
Cite this Page: Citation

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