Kevin Hearne Quotes - Page 3

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Dogs Eyes Giving Running Vampires Waiting War

I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.

Kevin Hearne

Morning, Noise, Stretching

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.677, Del Rey

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Yes and I appreciate it. But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.

Kevin Hearne

Running, Appreciate, Filters

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hounded (with two bonus short stories): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book One”, p.301, Del Rey

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He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.

Kevin Hearne

Rocks, World, Problem

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.1020, Del Rey

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Malina looked incredulous. "Are you anything more than a Druid?" "Of course I am. I own this shop and I play a mean game of chess, and I've been told that I'm a frakkin' Cylon." "What's a frakkin' Cylon?" "I don't know, but it sounds really scary when you say it with a Polish Accent.

Kevin Hearne

Mean, Games, Play

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.142, Del Rey

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Icy glares from vampires are far icier than icy glares from people and when the vampire giving you an icy glare is originally from Iceland, you're confronted with the archetypal origin of the term, and you shouldn't be surprised if your core body temperature drops a few degrees.

Kevin Hearne

Iceland, People, Giving

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They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.

Kevin Hearne

Csi, Able, Planets

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.399, Del Rey

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I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital

Kevin Hearne

Home, Night, Laughing

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.417, Del Rey

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Bring it,muthafuckas.Bring it.

Kevin Hearne

Kevin Hearne (2012). “The Iron Druid Chronicles Starter Pack 3-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered”, p.204, Del Rey

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Sweet Honey of Dagda, now I was babbling.

Kevin Hearne

Sweet, Honey, Sweet Honey

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.355, Del Rey

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Turns out that once you kill a god, people want to talk to you. Paranormal insurance salesmen with special "godslayer" term life policies. Charlatan's with "godproof" armor and extraplanar safe houses for rent. But most notably, other gods.

Kevin Hearne

People, House, Special

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hounded (with two bonus short stories): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book One”, p.295, Del Rey

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That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” "I’ve run into some of those at the dog park," Oberon said. "They’re usually attached to Chihuahuas.

Kevin Hearne

Running, Dog, Mean

Kevin Hearne (2012). “Tricked: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Four”, p.72, Del Rey

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I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in a little while I'll decide on what I want to put on my plate and chow down on.

Kevin Hearne

Want, Littles, Buffets

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.412, Del Rey

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Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning

Kevin Hearne

Blonde, Lightning, Tall

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hexed: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Two”, p.112, Del Rey

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That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.

Kevin Hearne

Jealous, Beer, Paradise

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hammered (with bonus short story): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three”, p.51, Del Rey

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Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!

Kevin Hearne

Mother, Wells, Courses

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hexed: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Two”, p.68, Del Rey

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I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else. Vampires inspire screams, not squees. Involuntary urination is common, I grant, but it properly flows from a sense of terror, not an ecstatic sense of hero worship.

Kevin Hearne

Hero, Inspire, Vampire

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hammered (with bonus short story): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three”, p.93, Del Rey

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Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring at me. “What?” I asked. Leif shook a finger and said in a low, menacing tone, “If you tell me I have to talk like an illiterate halfwit to fit into this society, I will punch you.” “And I’ll pull out your goatee,” Gunnar added. “Lolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk,” I explained to them. “U doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.

Kevin Hearne

Laughing, Tone, Fit

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hammered (with bonus short story): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Three”, p.150, Del Rey

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You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.

Kevin Hearne

Dog, Eric, Sometimes

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.246, Del Rey

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She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.

Kevin Hearne

Bores, Suspects, Fangirl

Kevin Hearne (2012). “Trapped: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book Five”, p.42, Del Rey

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Flidais clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, I bet he nearly shat kine!" That made me laugh - I hadn't heard that expression in a long, long time. I refrained from telling her that the modern expression would be "he had a cow", because I liked the original better. "Yes, the kine he nearly shat would have fed several clans.

Kevin Hearne

Expression, Hands, Long

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.50, Del Rey

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But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.

Kevin Hearne

Guilt, Ferrets, Necks

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.1055, Del Rey

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On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan

Kevin Hearne

Awards, Freddy Krueger, Hello

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What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.

Kevin Hearne

Scary, Kinky, Knows

Kevin Hearne (2011). “Hounded (with two bonus short stories): The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book One”, p.274, Del Rey

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She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.

Kevin Hearne

Thinking, Honor, Unexpected

Kevin Hearne (2014). “The Iron Druid Chronicles 6-Book Bundle: Hounded, Hexed, Hammered, Tricked, Trapped, Hunted”, p.501, Del Rey

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Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy.

Kevin Hearne

Names, Fleas, Holy

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Born: December 9, 1970
Occupation: Novelist
Cite this Page: Citation

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