Bertrand Russell Funny Quotes

• There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

  Bertrand Russell

  Inspirational, Funny, Book

  Bertrand Russell (2015). “The Conquest of Happiness”, p.28, Lulu Press, Inc

• I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Fear, Philosophy

  "Bertrand Russell's Greatest Paradox was His Faith" by Dan Delzell, www.christianpost.com. November 4, 2011.

• Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Life, Competition

  Bertrand Russell (2002). “The Selected Letters of Bertrand Russell: The Public Years, 1914-1970”, p.215, Psychology Press

• Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

  Bertrand Russell

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

• The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

  Bertrand Russell

  Inspirational, Funny, Patience

• I once saw a photograph of a large herd of wild elephants in Central Africa Seeing an airplane for the first time, and all in a state of wild collective terror... As, however, there were no journalists among them, the terror died down when the airplane was out of sight.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Airplane, Elephants

• To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life flowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Happiness, Laughter

  "The Conquest of Happiness" by Bertrand Russell, (Ch. 13), 1930.

• We are told that Sin consists in acting contrary to God's commands, but we are also told that God is omnipotent. If He is, nothing contrary to His will can occur; therefore when the sinner disobeys His commands, He must have intended this to happen.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, God, Humorous

  Bertrand Russell (2009). “The Basic Writings of Bertrand Russell”, p.51, Routledge

• The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Family, Dad

  Bertrand Russell (1957). “Why I Am Not a Christian: And Other Essays on Religion and Related Subjects”, p.158, Simon and Schuster

• There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less.

  Bertrand Russell

  Funny, Men, Weight Loss

  Bertrand Russell (2009). “The Basic Writings of Bertrand Russell”, p.370, Routledge

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