Toddler Quotes - Page 2

• Of course there are people who would like to eat breakfast without the screams of toddlers all around them, but those people should get over themselves and stop being stuck up and idiotic.

  Jon Ronson

  People, Breakfast, Scream

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• When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery—much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.

  Aisha Tyler

  Girlfriend, Phones, Cells

  Aisha Tyler (2013). “Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation”, p.11, Harper Collins

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• Time to a writer is like play dough in the hands of a toddler.

  Barry Lane

  Hands, Play, Dough

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• In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

  Graydon Carter

  Country, Years, Office

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• We underestimate teenagers at our peril. Even the dismissive thing out on the street--look at what they're wearing. Then we'll hear stories about how a toddler fell on the tracks, and it's often a teenager who comes to the rescue and walks away because he or she doesn't want any credit. I recognize it because I've written books for teenagers--it's basically that they feel things more than adults do. They want things more than you think. They want things with greater depth than you think they do. Teenagers have got a lot of soul that adults have forgotten they have within themselves.

  Markus Zusak

  Teenager, Book, Thinking

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• Over the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car of speeding teenagers while shaking a brick at them, never once interrupting the conversation or setting down her margarita. The only reason this woman isn't president of General Motors is because she's chosen not to be.

  Jen Lancaster

  Summer, Teenager, Night

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• Did Lovelace's forces find you? Did Jabor break in?" He spoke slowly through clenched teeth. "I went to get a newspaper" This is getting better and better! I shook my head regretfully. "You should leave such a dangerous assignment to people better qualified: next time ask an old granny, or a toddler-

  Jonathan Stroud

  People, Get Better, Teeth

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• When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Baby, Two

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• My daughter was a toddler. I had no idea there was anything wrong with kids' media.I started watching little preschool shows with her or G-rated videos or whatever; I couldn't believe what I was seeing, that there seemed to be far more male characters than female characters in what we make for little kids. It was just a shock.

  Geena Davis

  Daughter, Believe, Kids

  Interview with Emma Watson, www.interviewmagazine.com. April 25, 2016.

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• The sun was a toddler insistently refusing to go to bed: It was past eight thirty and still light.

  John Green

  Past, Eight, Light

  John Green (2012). “The Fault in Our Stars”, p.112, Penguin UK

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• I mean you might have wanted Carrie Bradshaw, but to me she's like toddlers and tiaras gone berserk!

  Michael Kors

  Mean, Might, Tiaras

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• Unfortunately, dozens of toddlers injure themselves, even kill people with guns, because, unfortunately, not everyone who has loaded guns in their homes takes appropriate precautions.

  Hillary Clinton

  Home, Gun, People

  Transcript of the Third Presidential Debate, www.nytimes.com. October 20, 2016.

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• In my previous life I was a civil attorney. At one point I truly believed that was what I wanted to be- but that was before I'd been handed a fistful of crushed violets from a toddler. Before I understood that the smile of a child is a tattoo: indelible art.

  Jodi Picoult

  Tattoo, Art, Children

  Jodi Picoult (2009). “My Sister's Keeper: A Novel”, p.32, Simon and Schuster

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• There is growing consensus that new parents need help--information, advice, practical assistance--and that infants and toddlers need stimulation as well as care and nurture.

  Sheila Kamerman

  Parent, Advice, Information

  Sheila B. Kamerman, Alfred J. Kahn (1995). “Starting Right: How America Neglects Its Youngest Children and what We Can Do about it”, Oxford University Press, USA

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• I disagreed with the way the court applied the Second Amendment in Heller's case, because what the District of Columbia was trying to do was to protect toddlers from guns and so they wanted people with guns to safely store them. And the court didn't accept that reasonable regulation, but they've accepted many others. So I see no conflict between saving people's lives and defending the Second Amendment.

  Hillary Clinton

  Gun, People, Second Amendment

  Source: time.com

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• Such a strange thing, to hold a six-year-old's hand. Especially a six-year-old you've only just met. A toddler will grab hold of your finger, and someone your own age will clasp on to your whole hand, but with six-year-olds it's something in between, this acknowledgment that they can't be the one to take hold, so you have to do all the holding, folding your hand around theirs, feeling so much bigger and responsible.

  David Levithan

  Hands, Years, Feelings

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• I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.

  John Mulaney

  Fun, Looks, Tiny

  Source: uproxx.com

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• My son's full real name is Duncan Zowie Haywood. As a toddler he was called by his second name Zowie. But it was such an identifiable name during the Seventies that if I called him loudly in public places, everyone would turn to stare, so I started calling him Joey to take the pressure off. It has the same sound and number of syllables as Zowie. And Joe stuck for most of his childhood. Now he has reverted to his real name, Duncan. Haywood was my father's name.

  David Bowie

  Father, Real, Son

  Source: us.hellomagazine.com

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• I feel like my life right now is so crazy; there's no time to dwell on difficult things. You just have to figure out how to fix it or get past it because there is no time to do anything else. Being a mom to a toddler, my career, and my husband's career - all of our worlds just kind of colliding at once, you just make it work.

  Carrie Underwood

  Mom, Crazy, Past

  Source: www.popsugar.com

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• Comfort is everything. You start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers.

  John Mulaney

  Beautiful, Baby, Perfect

  Source: uproxx.com

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• My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.

  Roseanne Barr

  Dad, People, Age

  Source: www.elle.com

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• Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Baby, Doe, Easier

  Jim Gaffigan (2013). “Dad Is Fat”, p.83, Crown Archetype

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• One current reaction to change in families, for example, is the proposal for more "education for parenthood," on the theory that this training will not only teach specific skills such as how to change diapers or how to play responsively with toddlers, but will raise parents' self-confidence at the same time. The proposed cure, in short, is to reform and educate the people with the problem.

  Kenneth Keniston

  Self Confidence, Play, Skills

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• We must remember when we speak of the "negativism" of the toddler that this is also the child who is intoxicated with the discoveries of the second year, a joyful child who is firmly bound to his parents and his new-found world through ties of love. The so-called negativism is one of the aspects of this development, but under ordinary circumstances it does not become anarchy. It's a kind of declaration of independence, but there is no intention to unseat the government.

  Selma Fraiberg

  Children, Government, Discovery

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• One of the most essential and mundane of human activities - taking care of children - requires high levels of anxious vigilance. ... [Parents] dare not risk assuming that the sudden quiet from the toddlers' room means they are studying with Baby Einstein. Visualize fratricidal stranglings and electric outlets stabbed with forks: this is how we have reproduced our genomes.

  Barbara Ehrenreich

  Baby, Children, Mean

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