Taxes Funny Quotes - Page 2

• The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government.

  Barry Goldwater

  Government, Political, Criminals

  19 Copy quote

• It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.

  Will Rogers

  Government, Pay, Good Things

  8 Copy quote

• There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Men, Thinking, Political

  "The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress". Novel by Robert A. Heinlein, 1966.

  49 Copy quote

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• The best things in life are free

  Luther Vandross

  Inspirational, Life, Inspiring

  Song: The Best Things in Life Are Free

  76 Copy quote

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• The best things in life are free - and $19.95.

  Billy Mays

  Sarcastic, Things In Life, Money Can't Buy Happiness

  Interview with Lloyd Grove, www.entrepreneur.com. October 13, 2008.

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• Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

  Ronald Reagan

  Freedom, Military, Moving

  Remarks to state chairs of National White House Conference on Small Business, 15 Aug. 1986

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• Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

  Will Rogers

  Crooks, Taxation, Levels

  17 Copy quote

• I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

  Civilization, Paying Taxes, Taxation

  "If we want a civilised society, charities can't fill the void left by government" by Debbie Chachra, www.theguardian.com. October 8, 2013.

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• Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

  Neil Peart

  Sleep, Soul, Praying

  18 Copy quote

• The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

  Will Rogers

  Lying, Liars, Golf

  9 Copy quote

• If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

  Will Rogers

  Government, Years, Pockets

  Will Rogers, Steven K. Gragert, M. Jane Johansson (2001). “The Papers of Will Rogers: From vaudeville to Broadway : September 1908-August 1915”, p.331, University of Oklahoma Press

  81 Copy quote

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• To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

  Benjamin Tucker

  Men, Insult To Injury, Liberty

  Benjamin Ricketson Tucker (1926). “Individual liberty: selections from the writings of Benjamin R. Tucker”

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• I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

  Douglas Adams

  Money, Funny Life, Years

  10 Copy quote

• The United States has a system of taxation by confession

  Hugo Black

  America, United States, Irs

  10 Copy quote

• Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.

  Franklin D. Roosevelt

  Men, Sweat, Paying Taxes

  Roosevelt, Franklin D. (1941). “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: F.D. Roosevelt, 1937, Volume 6”, p.798, Best Books on

  7 Copy quote

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• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Book

  "The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations". Book by Connie Robertson, 1996.

  13 Copy quote

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• Indoors or out, no one relaxes
  In March, that month of wind and taxes,
  The wind will presently disappear,
  The taxes last us all the year.

  Ogden Nash

  Spring, Years, Wind

  "Thar She Blows". "Versus". Book by Ogden Nash, 1949.

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• Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Missing You, Strong, Drinking

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

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• A fool and his money are soon invited everywhere.

  Warren Buffett

  Money, Italian, Fool

  14 Copy quote

• A fool and his money are soon married.

  Carolyn Wells

  Money, Italian, Fool

  Carolyn Wells (1912). “The Lover's Baedeker and Guide to Arcady”

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• A fool and his money are soon parted. - Five Hundred Points of Good Husbandry.

  Thomas Tusser

  Money, Italian, Taxation

  7 Copy quote

• The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love

  Joe Louis

  Love, Funny, Witty

  40 Copy quote

• A fool and his money are soon partying.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Money, Party

  9 Copy quote

• Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay

  Milton Friedman

  Taxation, Pay, Congress

  13 Copy quote

• The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

  Mark Twain

  Business, Inspiration, Humor

  22 Copy quote