Tax Returns Quotes

• The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

  Arthur C. Clarke

  Zero, Funny Life, Business

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners". Book by Geoff Tibballs (p. 264), 2004.

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• Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

  Herman Wouk

  Book, Income, Fiction

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• I will absolutely give my [tax] return, but I'm being audited now for two or three years, so I can't do it until the audit is finished, obviously.

  Donald Trump

  Years, Two, Giving

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• When my mother makes out her income tax return every year, under occupation she writes, eroding my daughter's self-esteem.

  Robin Roberts

  Mother, Daughter, Self Esteem

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• Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS agent is going to want to spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document. So even if you owe money, you can put in for an enormous refund and the agent will probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit. What does he care? It's not his money.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Sweat, Giving

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• The same government that requires a taxpaying citizen to document every statement on his tax return decrees that questioning a welfare applicant demeans and humiliates him.

  Ronald Reagan

  Government, Citizens, Return

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• Anyone who's ever filed a tax return or visited the Department of Motor Vehicles understands that government does two things well: spend our money and waste our time.

  Edwin Feulner

  Government, Motor Vehicles, Two

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• Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an adult, but all the same, there you are, clutching the phone and thanking God that you're still somebody's daughter.

  Kelly Corrigan

  Daughter, Phones, Years

  "The Middle Place". Book by Kelly Corrigan, www.today.com. 2005.

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• If we give all of the people who filed incorrect tax returns the benefit of the doubt and assume that every single one of them simply made an honest mistake, then doesn't common sense tell us that maybe the tax code is just a little too complex?

  Glenn Beck

  Mistake, People, Common Sense

  Glenn Beck (2009). “Glenn Beck's Common Sense: The Case Against an Ouf-of-Control Government, Inspired by Thomas Paine”, p.38, Simon and Schuster

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• Arnold Schwarzenegger made his tax returns public, [and] now there's a problem about him stretching the truth. Apparently under occupation he put down 'actor.'

  Jay Leno

  Actors, Occupation, Return

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• I know everybody's income and what everybody earns,
  And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns

  W. S. Gilbert

  Income, Return, Manners

  W. S. Gilbert, Ian C. Bradley (2016). “The Complete Annotated Gilbert and Sullivan”, p.537, Oxford University Press

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• President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.

  Jay Leno

  Writing, Yesterday, President

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• Every instance of this stuff, from this tax return business to the illegality. You know who is actually breaking the law in this country. It's every Democrat you can think of in this regime, at the DOJ, and Hillary Clinton and her e-mail server. [Donald] Trump hasn't broken one law yet. The media is breaking the law. Hillary is breaking the law.

  Donald Trump

  Country, Thinking, Media

  Source: www.rushlimbaugh.com

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• I've never looked at a tax return without immediately losing consciousness.

  Rob Marshall

  Return, Losing, Consciousness

  Source: www.indiewire.com

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• I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.

  Dave Barry

  Years, Ideas, Voice

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• Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.

  Conan O'Brien

  Running, President, Return

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• The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.

  Emo Philips

  Differences, Irs, Paper

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• You may have heard that Donald Trum has long refused to release his tax returns, the way every other nominee for president has done for decades. You can look at 40 years of my tax returns. I think we need a law that says, if you become the nominee of the major parties, you have to release your tax returns.

  Hillary Clinton

  Party, Thinking, Years

  Source: time.com

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• Donald Trump is the first candidate ever to run for president in the last 40-plus years who has not released his tax returns, so everything he says about charity or anything else, we can't prove it.

  Hillary Clinton

  Running, Years, President

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• The only one that cares about my tax returns are the reporters, OK? They're the only who ask.

  Donald Trump

  Care, Return, Taxes

  "Donald Trump's News Conference: Full Transcript and Video", www.nytimes.com. January 11, 2017.

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• There are a series of connections between Donald Trump and his closest advisers and Russia that at least raise significant questions. Some of those questions could be answered if Donald Trump was willing to release his tax returns, but he's unwilling to do that.

  Tim Kaine

  Russia, Return, Connections

  Source: www.pbs.org

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• I will release my tax returns - against my lawyer's wishes - when she releases her 33,000 e-mails that have been deleted. As soon as she releases them, I will release.

  Donald Trump

  Wish, Mail, Return

  "The first Trump-Clinton presidential debate transcript, annotated" by Aaron Blake, www.washingtonpost.com. September 26, 2016.

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• For 40 years, everyone running for president has released their tax returns. You can go and see nearly, I think, 39, 40 years of our tax returns, but everyone has done it.

  Hillary Clinton

  Running, Thinking, Years

  "2016 Presidential Debates", TV Mini-Series (2016– ). "Episode #1.1", www.imdb.com. 2016.

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• If I decide to run for office, I will release my tax returns. Absolutely. I would love to do that.

  Donald Trump

  Running, Office, Return

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• When you want to do your homework, fill out your tax return, or see all the choices for a trip you want to take, you need a full-size screen.

  Bill Gates

  Technology, Journey, Reality

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