Sarcastic Love Quotes

• I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

  Groucho Marx

  Inspirational, Funny, Smile

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  115 Copy quote

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• The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  "W. C. Privy's Original Bathroom Companion". Book by Erin Barrett and Jack Mingo (p. 134), 2003.

  179 Copy quote

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• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Life, Happiness

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  661 Copy quote

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• History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

  Abba Eban

  Funny, Sarcastic, War

  Speech in London, 16 Dec. 1970, in The Times 17 Dec. 1970

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  In Leo Rosten People I have Loved, Known or Admired (1970) "Groucho"

  82 Copy quote

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• If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

  George Carlin

  Sarcastic, Sarcasm, Fire

  77 Copy quote

• Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Life, Sarcastic, Wisdom

  49 Copy quote

• If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, he's probably LK Advani

  Narendra Modi

  If You Love Someone, Love Coming Back, Free Yourself

  33 Copy quote

• Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Friendship, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde (2014). “The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays”, p.139, Simon and Schuster

  198 Copy quote

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  If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  476 Copy quote

• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  53 Copy quote

• He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Friendship, Sarcastic

  "The Works of Oscar Wilde".

  28 Copy quote

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• I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Insanity, Suffering, Signatures

  26 Copy quote
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  I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.

  Clarence Darrow

  Life, Death, Sarcastic

  "The Story of My Life". Book by Clarence Darrow, 1932.

  129 Copy quote

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• Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

  Oscar Levant

  Funny, Sarcastic, Loneliness

  36 Copy quote
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  Don't be humble... you're not that great.

  Golda Meir

  Sarcastic, Humble, Humility

  Quoted in N.Y. Times, 18 Mar. 1969

  118 Copy quote

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• Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Jealousy, Sarcastic

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 41

  9 Copy quote

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• If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

  Charlie Pierce

  Funny, Sarcastic, Mother

  18 Copy quote

• The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Sarcastic, Communication

  38 Copy quote

• A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

  Kin Hubbard

  Sarcastic, Sarcasm, Thinking

  34 Copy quote

• The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

  Ogden Nash

  Sarcastic, Cat, Sarcasm

  "The Face is Familiar: The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash".

  15 Copy quote

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• It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

  Pierre Beaumarchais

  Order, Personality, Understanding

  24 Copy quote

• Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  Kurt Vonnegut (2016). “If This Isn't Nice What Is? (Much) Expanded Second Edition: The Graduation Speeches and Other Words to Live By”, p.131, RosettaBooks

  34 Copy quote

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• When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

  Eric Hoffer

  Sarcastic, Freedom, Sarcasm

  Passionate State of Mind (1955) p. 21

  22 Copy quote

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• No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Real

  10 Copy quote