Quip Quotes - Page 2

• The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

  Adam Sandler

  Fun, Character, Boys

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• Some libs took offense at my David Broder quip earlier. In my own defense, I was taught in college it's OK to disrespect dead white males.

  James Taranto

  College, White, Disrespect

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• One of my most often repeated quips was the one I made when former Presidents Carter, Ford and Nixon stood by each other at a White House event. 'There they are,' I said. 'See no evil, hear no evil, and . . . evil.'

  Bob Dole

  White, Evil, House

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• I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know where wittiness is constructive.

  Matthew McConaughey

  Witty, Thinking, Cynicism

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• If you ask the fish whether they'd rather have an oil spill or a season of fishing, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd vote for another blowout.

  Carl Safina

  Science, Fishing, Oil

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• I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

  William Shakespeare

  Men, Thinking, Careers

  'Much Ado About Nothing' (1598-9) act 2, sc. 3, l. [262]

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• I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters - I'm from an all female family. My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!

  Shirley Manson

  Family, Sister, Girlfriend

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• Because I am about to be devoured by poodles," I quip. "Remember me always, my love.

  Holly Black

  Poodles, Remember, Remember Me

  Holly Black (2012). “Red Glove”, p.281, Simon and Schuster

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• Radical transparency has an enormous impact on our personal lives. We can no longer share thoughts, quips, photos or personal opinions anywhere on the web without being mindful that they may turn up where we least expect it (notably job interviews, divorce proceedings or public media).

  Simon Mainwaring

  Jobs, Divorce, Media

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• Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male.

  Ashton Kutcher

  Ice, Romance, Age

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• Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground-floor. But if a man hasn't got plenty of good common sense, the more science he has, the worse for his patient.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Science, Men, Common Sense

  Oliver Wendell Holmes (1887). “The "Breakfast-table" Series: The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table; The Professor at the Breakfast- Table; The Poet at the Breakfast- Table”

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• Ser Jaime?" Even in soiled pink satin and torn lace, Brienne looked more like a man in a gown than a proper woman."I am grateful, but...you were well away. Why come back?" A dozen quips came to mind, each crueler than the one before, but Jaime only shrugged. "I dreamed of you," he said.

  George R. R. Martin

  Grateful, Men, Mind

  George R. R. Martin (2003). “A Storm of Swords: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book Three”, p.631, Bantam

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• Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

  Evan Esar

  Science, Math, Statistics

  Esar's Comic Dictionary

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• A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a quip and worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow. When innovations are in the exploration stage, they need a champion to take them through the rest of the developmental stages. Otherwise the bureaucracy, politics, and people who can only see the fledgling and potential innovation through today's glasses will smother it or let it quietly die from malnourishment.

  Charles Bowers

  Change, Glasses, Ideas

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• The brain is an island in an osmotically homogeneous sea.

  Francis Daniels Moore

  Science, Islands, Sea

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• COLD. Healthier than heat.

  Gustave Flaubert

  Science, Heat, Cold

  Gustave Flaubert (1968). “Dictionary of Accepted Ideas”, p.25, New Directions Publishing

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• For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets.

  Michael Showalter

  Mean, Brooklyn Bridge, Bridges

  Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black Have Issues with Twitter" by Michael Showalter and Michael Ian Black, www.esquire.com. July 29, 2009.

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• In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The Beresina, and about the barricades of our revolutions. So, at the assizes of the Last Judgment, there will always be a Frenchmen to crack a joke.

  Honore de Balzac

  People, Cracks, Matter

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