President Quotes - Page 10

• The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.

  Bill Maher

  Iraq, People, Support

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• Middle names are kind of like vice presidents: It's a fine distinction and certainly an honor, but you're never not aware that someone else got the real job.

  Paul Reiser

  Jobs, Real, Names

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• President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.

  David Letterman

  Japan, Korea, India

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• Mitt Romney looks like an American President in a Canadian movie.

  David Letterman

  Looks, American President, Romney

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• Arnold Schwarzenegger met with President Bush. It's amazing if you think about it. It was the Terminator and the One-Term-inator.

  David Letterman

  Thinking, Schwarzenegger, Mets

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• Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family.

  David Letterman

  Running, Dream, New York

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• Every day is President's Day when you have an intern!

  David Letterman

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• President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

  Paula Poundstone

  Country, Hate, Blow

  "Celebrate Bad Times, Come On!" by Paula Poundstone, www.huffingtonpost.com. January 7, 2009.

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• I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.

  Roseanne Barr

  Crush, Cowboy, Thinking

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• It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the President's plan was for a day of prayer. I would have thought a truck of food. A day of prayer. Now, maybe I'm mistaken here and, again, I'm not a scientific expert, but isn't a hurricane officially an act of God? Isn't a day of prayer kind of redundant? Hasn't God already made up his mind on that sort of thing? So we do a day of prayer. The President has his stupid day of prayer. Three days later, Hurricane Rita hits. Somebody must have said something... something like, is that all you got?

  Jon Stewart

  Prayer, Stupid, New Orleans

  Stand-up performance at Rochester Institute of Technology, 2005.

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• Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding.

  Jon Stewart

  Daughter, Moving, Gay

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• I read this morning that he's [Saddam Hussein] also said the love that the Iraqis have for him is so much greater than anything Americans feel for their President because he's been loved for 35 years, he says, the whole 35 years.

  Diane Sawyer

  Morning, Years, Hussein

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• Nobody is really qualified to be the president. Basically it's an acting job. You have to act like you're the president. And every four years the country holds a big casting call.

  Richard Jeni

  Country, Jobs, Years

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• I understand I'm running against a person who is so anxious to become president, he will do whatever it takes.

  George W. Bush

  Running, Anxious, Whatever It Takes

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• They all start competing against Lincoln as the greatest president. And the [library] building becomes the symbol, the memorial to that dream.

  Doris Kearns Goodwin

  Dream, Memorial, Library

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• Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?

  Don Rickles

  Kings, Thinking, Cells

  "What I've Learned: Don Rickles". Interview with Mike Sager, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

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• Here's why I think there's something a little odd with George Bush. Because a lot of the times when he speaks, his words don't match his face. Something is askew. You can't talk about the war with a smile on your face. He does it constantly. If you're the President, you should go We're going to talk about the war, I must have a frowny face. The only time you can smile when you're talking about the war in Iraq is when you go, Well, two Iraqis walk into a bar, hahaha.

  Lewis Black

  War, Thinking, Talking

  "Lewis Black: Red, White and Screwed". Documentary, Comedy, June 10, 2006.

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• I never thought that Bill Clinton should be the president. When he was running to be the president of the United States, he said on over a hundred occasions, he said the following: He said, 'One of the great accomplishments while I was the governor of Arkansas, was to take my state in education from 50th to 49th.' And I thought, ' you know, Bill, you should keep that a secret.

  Lewis Black

  Running, Accomplishment, Secret

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• You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people to call me J-Lo,' and then they do it. Only a celebrity can get away with this. George Bush doesn't come out for his morning press conferences: 'From now on, I'd like to be referred to as G-Bu. Y'all know my vice president, Dog Chain.

  Carol Leifer

  Dog, Morning, People

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• Being Vice President is difficult. Don't make it tougher.

  Donald Rumsfeld

  Vices, Difficult, Vice President

  Donald Rumsfeld (2001). “Public Statements of Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense, 2001”

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• Control your time. If you're working off your in-box, you're working off the priorities of others. Be sure the staff is working on what you move to them from the President, or the President will be reacting, not leading.

  Donald Rumsfeld

  Moving, Priorities, Staff

  Donald Rumsfeld (2001). “Public Statements of Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense, 2001”

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• Don't accept the post or stay unless you have an understanding with the President that you're free to tell him what you think "with the bark off" and you have the courage to do it.

  Donald Rumsfeld

  Thinking, Understanding, Accepting

  Donald Rumsfeld (2001). “Public Statements of Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense, 2001”

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• Know that the immediate staff and others in the Administration will assume that your manner, tone and tempo reflect the President's.

  Donald Rumsfeld

  Administration, Tone, Assuming

  Donald Rumsfeld (2001). “Public Statements of Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense, 2001”

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• Walk around. If you are invisible, the mystique of the President's office may perpetuate inaccurate impressions about you or the President, to his detriment. After all, you may not be as bad as they're saying.

  Donald Rumsfeld

  Office, May, Invisible

  Donald Rumsfeld (2001). “Public Statements of Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense, 2001”

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• I never worked with Marilyn Monroe, but if she'd lived, I think she would have been all right. She would have been President of the United States.

  Walter Matthau

  Thinking, United States, Has Beens

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