Funny Religious Quotes - Page 3

• Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

  Mark Twain

  Sarcastic, Party, Sarcasm

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.328, Courier Corporation

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• No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.

  George H. W. Bush

  Atheist, Hatred, Scary

  Campaign press conference at O'Hare Airport, Chicago, August 27, 1987.

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• Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.

  Andy Borowitz

  Funny, Christmas, Religious

  FaceBook post by Andy Borowitz from Dec 23, 2012

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• Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion--several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother's path to happiness and heaven....The higher animals have no religion. And we are told that they are going to be left out in the Hereafter. I wonder why? It seems questionable taste.

  Mark Twain

  Religious, Brother, Cutting

  "Man's Place in the Animal World" (ca. 1896)

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• In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination

  Mark Twain

  Religious, Believe, Second Chance

  Autobiography ch. 78 (1959)

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• To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin".

  Robert Bellarmine

  Jesus, Science, Earth

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• Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me ... that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.

  Butch Hancock

  Sex, Texas, Awful

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• If there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion.

  Edmond de Goncourt

  Atheist, If There Is A God, Religion

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• The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.

  Frederick Buechner

  Life, God, Christian

  Frederick Buechner (1973). “Wishful thinking: a theological ABC.”, Harper San Francisco

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