Funny Parenting Quotes - Page 2

• It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.

  Barbara Kingsolver

  Mothers Day, Mom, Daughter

  "Animal Dreams". Book by Barbara Kingsolver, September 1990.

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• The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.

  Benjamin Spock

  Children, Dad, Parenting

  Benjamin Spock, M.D. (2012). “Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 9th Edition”, p.580, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.

  Bette Davis

  Mom, Mother, Children

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• Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

  David Frost

  Love, Friendship, Relationship

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Children, Parent, Monsters

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.40, BookBaby

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• Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Life, Children, Humorous

  FaceBook post by Fran Lebowitz from Oct 04, 2010

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• A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it.

  Frank A. Clark

  Family, Children, Parenting

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• Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Witty, Happy Mothers Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.

  Bill Cosby

  Courage, Children, Dark

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Fatherhood”, Berkley Publishing Group

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• Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

  Doug Larson

  Inspirational, Funny, Children

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• Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kid's therapy.

  Michelle Pfeiffer

  Funny, Husband, Kids

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• The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

  Dorothy Parker

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  Dorothy Parker (2004). “Dorothy Parker in Her Own Words”, Taylor Trade Publishing

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• It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.

  Ben Berger

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  20 Copy quote

• Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.

  Peter Ustinov

  Children, Cutting, Parenting

  33 Copy quote

• Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep.

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  Family, Good Night, Baby

  "Fictional character: Jennifer Jareau". "Criminal Minds" ("Boxed In", Season 10, Episode 5), October 29, 2014.

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• Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

  Mark Twain

  Children, Effort, Parent

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• Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.124, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• It's not only children who grow. Parents do too.

  Joyce Maynard

  Children, Parenting, Single Child

  Joyce Maynard (2010). “At Home in the World: A Memoir”, p.300, Macmillan

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• The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.

  King Edward VIII

  Children, Parenting, America

  Look 5 Mar. 1957

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• To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Teenage

  Dave Barry (2013). “My Teenage Son's Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old: and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry”, p.73, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.

  Frank A. Clark

  Children, Parenting, Important

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• Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

  Bill Cosby

  Education, Sex, Believe

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• Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

  Joey Adams

  Children, Parent, Advice

  Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.

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• The first half of our lives are ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

  Clarence Darrow

  Inspirational, Life, Children

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• Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Children, Food

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.113, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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