Funny Parenting Quotes - Page 4

• There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Family, Inspiring, Children

  31 Copy quote

• If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

  E. W. Howe

  Funny, Mother, Children

  54 Copy quote

• The beauty of 'spacing' children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones.

  Sydney J. Harris

  Children, Mistake, Lying

  Sydney J. Harris (1964). “Leaving the Surface”

  53 Copy quote

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• Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.

  Gloria Steinem

  Mother, Children, Father

  "A New Egalitarian Life Style". www.nytimes.com. August 26, 1971.

  8 Copy quote

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• Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

  Phyllis Diller

  Mom, Witty, Funny Inspirational

  Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.81, Penguin

  15 Copy quote

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• Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

  Fran Lebowitz

  Mom, Baby, Children

  Fran Lebowitz (2011). “The Fran Lebowitz Reader”, p.53, Vintage

  24 Copy quote

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• Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Time, Children, Memorable

  "The Complete Neurotic's Notebook". Book by Mignon McLaughlin, 1981.

  11 Copy quote

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• I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.

  Jodi Picoult

  Mother, Parenting, Funny Parent

  "My Sister's Keeper". Book by Jodi Picoult, April 6, 2004.

  14 Copy quote

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• My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

  Quentin Crisp

  Fathers Day, Mother, Dad

  66 Copy quote

• Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.

  Bill Ayers

  Kids, Parenting, Compassion

  "An Unconditional Embrace". Interview with Gabriel Lyon, www.tolerance.org. Spring 1998.

  58 Copy quote

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• By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

  Charles Wadsworth

  Funny, Hilarious, Father

  192 Copy quote

• You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Family, Children, Growing Up

  12 Copy quote

• No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

  Bill Cosby

  Family, Kids, Parenting

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Fatherhood”, Berkley Publishing Group

  37 Copy quote

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• Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

  Bill Cosby

  Funny, Motivational, Family

  Twitter post from Jan 09, 2010

  18 Copy quote

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• You will always be your child's favorite toy.

  Vicki Lansky

  Mom, Children, Parent

  "Trouble-free Travel with Children: Helpful Hints for Parents on the Go". Book by Vicki Lansky, 1991.

  19 Copy quote

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• My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.

  Karen Brown

  Mom, Children, Kids

  47 Copy quote

• If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.

  Laurence Housman

  Marriage, Mothers Day, Mom

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  9 Copy quote

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• Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

  Bill Cosby

  Motivational, Baby, Children

  Twitter post from Nov 06, 2009

  57 Copy quote

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• Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Death, Fathers Day, Children

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.117, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  67 Copy quote

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• The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

  Calvin Trillin

  Funny, Mothers Day, Mom

  50 Copy quote

• Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.

  Ron Funches

  Confidence, Children, Parenting

  71 Copy quote

• When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Pregnancy, Moving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  94 Copy quote

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