Funny Morning Coffee Quotes

• Given enough coffee I could rule the world

  Terry Pratchett

  Coffee, World, Enough

  34 Copy quote

• I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

  Lewis Black

  Coffee, Giving, Might

  66 Copy quote

• He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something.

  Josephine Baker

  Coffee, Together, Caffeine

  40 Copy quote

• Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

  Conan O'Brien

  Funny, Religious, Jesus

  85 Copy quote
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  I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Food, Coffee

  95 Copy quote

• Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

  Agatha Christie

  Coffee, Taste, England

  19 Copy quote

• Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.

  Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

  Coffee, Espresso, France

  104 Copy quote

• I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.

  Napoleon Bonaparte

  Coffee, Suffering, Roasting

  30 Copy quote

• It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it.

  Zora Neale Hurston

  Friendship, Good Morning, Coffee

  Zora Neale Hurston (1969). “Dust tracks on a road”

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• Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

  Earl Wilson

  Coffee, Communication, Office

  "Fostering global discourse: it's time to embrace distance learning" by Kit Jones, www.theguardian.com. September 18, 2012.

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• It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

  Dave Barry

  Coffee, Views, Espresso

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.126, Ballantine Books

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  Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep.

  Fran Drescher

  Coffee, Sleep, Smell

  Fran Drescher (2002). “Cancer Schmancer”

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• Wake up and smell the coffee.

  Ann Landers

  Coffee, Espresso, Smell

  Chicago Tribune, 21 Dec. 1955.

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• Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

  David Letterman

  Coffee, Espresso, Personality

  "Letterman Lets His Guard Down" by Bill Zehme, Esquire, December 1994.

  51 Copy quote

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• Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

  Alphonse Allais

  Coffee, Sleep, Espresso

  49 Copy quote

• No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Sweet, Coffee, Offering

  Henry Ward Beecher (1862). “Eyes and Ears”, p.60

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• I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume.

  John William Van Druten

  Food, Coffee, Thinking

  Quoted in Think, Feb 1963.

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• A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfect!

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Real, Coffee, Eye

  Henry Ward Beecher (1862). “Eyes and ears”, p.52

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• Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

  Bill Cosby

  Birthday, Funny Life, Mistake

  Bill Cosby (1987). “Time Flies”

  21 Copy quote

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• I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

  T. S. Eliot

  Life, Success, Coffee

  "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" l. 51 (1917)

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• I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Coffee, Espresso

  16 Copy quote

• Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.

  Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

  Love, Sweet, Coffee

  480 Copy quote

• Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

  Terry Pratchett

  Coffee, Self, Rights

  "Happy International Coffee day - 10 great coffee quotes from literature" by Marta Bausells, www.theguardian.com. September 29, 2015.

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• The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Morning, Cheer, Coffee

  1891 Over the Teacups, ch.1.

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• Coffee makes us severe, and grave and philosophical.

  Jonathan Swift

  Coffee, Philosophical, Espresso

  Jonathan Swift, Thomas Roscoe (1843). “The Works of Jonathan Swift ...: Containing Interesting and Valuable Papers, Not Hitherto Published ... With Memoir of the Author”, p.55

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