To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em.
Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions.
Every ballpark used to be unique. Now, it's like women's breasts - if you've seen one, you've seen 'em both.
My kids are always awake. It's they're taking shifts. 'Alright, I'll annoy 'em from midnight to . Who wants to ?'
I don't talk to reporters, because they're gonna write what they want to write, so let 'em write what they want to write.
Owners want to make their team a winner so they can get more fans in the stands, and that's why they go after the best ball-players and pay 'em what they're worth.
A lot of times people would offer me movies and, because I'm a car freak, I'd look in a magazine and say, 'How much is this car? If you give me this car I'll show up and do the movie' I call 'em 'sports car flicks'.
With acting, you have to take it seriously because the other actors are putting in a lot of effort - and if you say, 'I'm just bullshitting here', it's like dissing 'em.
In the seventh grade, I was about to leave wearing a jumper, when my mom said she could see my panty line. So I just wore stockings. That day I broke my ankle, and the EMS cut my tights off. I got a full cast with no stockings on and no panties.
I just want my songs to be memorable, and for people to hear my songs in ten year's time and remember the great times they had while listening to 'em.
If I'm not writing about myself, then I sit down with people I really dig writing with and throw 'em out and see if something sticks. Their brain plus mine hopefully will make something interesting and cool and it will just snowball and we'll have a unique song by the end of it.
I don't have any favourite lyrics. Honestly, all of them I love 'em to death - it's the same with songs. I don't have just one favourite lyric, I love them all.
There are so many shoot-'em-up, action, jingoistic TV shows and movies that are made every year. I think the final line is that Hollywood is populist.
I'm trying to be morally responsible and no more. I don't have an agenda I'm trying to push. People talk about Three Days of the Condor as being anti-government but the last statement in that movie is the CIA guy saying to Robert Redford, "Ask 'em when they're running out. Ask 'em when there's no heat in their homes and they're cold. Ask 'em when their engines stop. Ask 'em when people who have never known hunger start going hungry. You want to know something? They won't want us to ask 'em. They'll just want us to get it for 'em!"
This is a hallmark trait of the left. There is never any effort to elevate anybody. Liberalism is all about tearing down. Liberalism is all about lowering. It is all about destroying 'em.
You can use the [Barack] Obama administration as a recent example. For seven years they've been unopposed. The Republican Party's not trying to stop 'em on a single thing. Much of Obama's agenda has been a success. He has been able to attack various traditions, institutions, and taken over the health care system in this country. They've taken over the student loan, they've taken over the education system, and everybody in it is miserable and unhappy.
So much of comedy is feeling comfortable with the point of view coming at you. So I understand it. There's people who I find hilarious now, but the first couple of times I saw 'em, I was like "What is this? I don't get it at all."
And they just slam the door. And they don't peek into that land any more. And they forget that teens and tweens are people, absolutely just as much as adults are. And their problems may play out on a smaller scale, but the things they go through are equally as valid as a CEO trying to figure out how to deal with a crisis at work. I just write for teens because I love 'em.
As far as entertainers, I know I'll sound like a cliché but they don't make 'em, like they use to. Barbra Streisand is one of them, also Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett. The first theater voice I heard on a record was Ethel Merman and again, they just don't make them like that anymore.
I was into Metallica when they first started, like when Kill Em All came out.
I don't write my own publicity materials, I just read 'em and give 'em the OK.
Kids eh? Little treasures, I love 'em... couldn't eat a whole one though.
When life gives you lemons. . . You might as well shove 'em where the sun don't shine, because you sure as hell aren't ever going to see any lemonade.
Illegal immigrants are people that have very little education. They are mostly people who are very poor. They arrive needing government assistance from the get-go, and the Democrat Party is right there to provide it, while telling them that the Republican Party wants to kick 'em out.
Legal immigration is a process. You learn everything about the people coming in. You find out how many of 'em are prone to vote Republican. You don't ask 'em this; you just learn.
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