Dilbert Quotes - Page 2

• Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Morning

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• There's a fine line between genius and insanity, as we all know.

  Mackenzie Phillips

  Insanity, Genius, Lines

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• When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

  Oprah Winfrey

  Long Distance Relationship, Distance Love, Love And Distance

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• Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

  Scott Adams

  Children, Reason, Treated

  "'Dilbert' cartoonist Scott Adams draws feminist outrage" by Jeff Labrecque, www.ew.com. March 30, 2011.

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• I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

  David Spade

  Cartoon

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

  Oscar Levant

  Inspirational, Funny, Depression

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.

  Scott Adams

  Years, Guy, Important

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• Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.

  Scott Adams

  Christian, Religious, Atheist

  "The Dilbert Blog: Atheists: The New Gays". November 19, 2006.

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• Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

  Scott Adams

  Hurt, People, Needs

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• Intelligence is what you use when you don't know what to do.

  Jean Piaget

  Long Distance Relationship, Learning, Distance Love

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• Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

  Scott Adams

  Stupid, Dumb, Enough

  "The Dilbert principle: a cubicle's-eye view of bosses, meetings, management fads & other workplace afflictions".

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• Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

  Scott Adams

  Inspirational, Kindness, Small Acts

  "A Kind Word". DNRC Newsletter #9, December 1995.

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• Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo

  Scott Adams

  Weirdo

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• The best things in life are silly.

  Scott Adams

  Inspirational, Stupid, Silly

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• Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.

  Scott Adams

  Science, Going Away, Bangs

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• Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method.
  Dogbert: But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called time and cause and effect exist.
  Dilbert: That's what I was taught and that's what I believe.
  Dogbert: Sounds cultish.

  Scott Adams

  Believe, Science, Reality

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• I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

  Scott Adams

  Years, Boss, Different

  "An Interview with the "Dilbert" Cartoonist Scott Adams" by Zachary Kanin, www.newyorker.com. October 27, 2008.

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• Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

  Scott Adams

  Believe, Science, Thinking

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• 'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.

  Scott Adams

  Jobs, Theme, Downsizing

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• Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

  Scott Adams

  Science, Thinking, Machines

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• I should have written that down. - Dilbert

  Scott Adams

  Should Have, Should, Written

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• The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

  Scott Adams

  Knowing, Guy, Doubt

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• I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

  Scott Adams

  Thinking, Voice, Long

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• One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to me. There's plenty of research about people having a baseline of happiness that doesn't vary much with circumstances. And given that happy people are typically optimistic, energetic, and fun to work with, I can see how happiness would lead to success.

  Scott Adams

  Happiness, Fun, Optimistic

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• Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf.
  Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene?
  Dogbert: It's plaid and it lies.

  Scott Adams

  Lying, Golf, Science

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