Custard Quotes

• A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

  George Orwell

  Dirty, Naughty, Nasty

  Horizon Sept. 1941 "The Art of Donald McGill"

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• You eat, in dreams, the custard of the day.

  Alexander Pope

  Dream, Art, Philosophy

  Alexander Pope, Homer, Samuel Johnson (1830). “The poetical works of Alexander Pope, Esq: to which is prefixed the life of the author”, p.177

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• Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

  Spike Milligan

  Food, Cooking, Chinese

  Spike Milligan (2011). “Milligan's Meaning of Life: An Autobiography of Sorts”, p.198, Penguin UK

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• Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Food, Cooking, Substance

  Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.47, University of Georgia Press

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• When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

  Russell Howard

  Funny, Humor, Jumping

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• Trying to make things work in government is sometimes like trying to sew a button on a custard pie.

  Hyman Rickover

  Work, Government, Pie

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• Lord, you're Irish," said Will. "Can you make things that don't have potatoes in them? We had an Irish cook once when I was a boy. Potato pie, potato custard, potatoes with potato sauce.

  Cassandra Clare

  Boys, Pie, Sauce

  Cassandra Clare (2013). “The Infernal Devices: Clockwork Angel; Clockwork Prince; Clockwork Princess”, p.514, Simon and Schuster

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• God's always got a custard pie up his sleeve.

  Margaret Forster

  Pie, Sleeves

  "Fictional character: Georgy". "Georgy Girl", www.imdb.com. 1966.

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• What I find interesting is how close you can run the laughter along the seam of seriousness, and occasionally cross it, so that half the house genuinely doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Custard pie humour is fairly universal, but at the other end, which I'm more interested in, there's the humour that hovers on the darkness, that walks in the shadow of something else, not always that obvious.

  Alan Ayckbourn

  Running, Laughter, Pie

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• I miss Manchester, especially the apple crumble and custard they served at Carrington after training.

  Cristiano Ronaldo

  Apples, Missing, Training

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• Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60. They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.

  Frank Lloyd Wright

  Wall, Artist, Vaccines

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• Traditional British desserts with lots of custard are my biggest weakness - I particularly love the puds at St. John restaurant in East London.

  Eva Green

  East London, Weakness, Dessert

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• Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

  George Orwell

  Funny, Dirty, Naughty

  "The Art of Donald McGill" (1941)

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• A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard.

  Ogden Nash

  Food, Oil, Cooking

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• God always has another custard pie up his sleeve.

  Lynn Redgrave

  Funny, God, Humorous

  "Screen: Angry-Young-Man Fairy Tale; 'Georgy Girl' Arrives at the Fine Arts Lynn Redgrave Stars in Tragicomic Film" by Michael Stern, www.nytimes.com. October 18, 1966.

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• During the Vietnam War, which lasted longer than any war we've ever been in - and which we lost - every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Country, War, Artist

  "Vonnegut at 80". Interview with David Hoppe, www.nuvo.net. January 1, 2003.

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• My favourite pudding is a toss-up between cheesecake - proper, New York cheesecake - and apple crumble and custard. Custard is very important, or dark chocolate mousse. Tea: probably Earl Grey, splash of milk.

  Tom Hiddleston

  New York, Dark, Apples

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• It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!

  Rachel

  Scratches, Beef, Jam

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• The sinister nature of the American soil is apparent in places like Gettysburg. Fertilize it with the blood of heros, and it brings forth a frozen-custard stand.

  Russell Baker

  Peace, War, Hero

  Russell Baker (1992). “Poor Russell's almanac”

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• In moments of considerable strain, I tend to take to bread-and-butter pudding. There is something about the blandness of soggy bread, the crispness of the golden outer crust and the unadulterated pleasure of a lightly set custard that makes the world seem a better place to live.

  Clement Freud

  Food, World, Golden

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• Eighteen luscuios scrumpitous flavors, Chocolate,Lime and Cherry Coffee,Pumpkin, Fudge-Banana, Caramel Cream and boysenberry. Rocky Road and Toasted Almond, Butterscotch,Vanilla Dip, Butter Brinkle, Apple Ripple,Coconut,and Mocha Chip, Brandy Peach and Lemon Custard. Each scoop lovely.smooth and round. Tallest cream cone in town lying there on the ground.

  Shel Silverstein

  Lying, Coffee, Apples

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• Trying to make the presidency work these days is like trying to sew buttons on a custard pie.

  James David Barber

  Pie, Trying, Buttons

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• The movies were custard compared to politics.

  Nancy Reagan

  Politics, First Lady, Former

  "Former first lady Nancy Reagan dead at 94". www.foxnews.com. March 7, 2016.

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• We never make sport of religion, politics, race or mothers. A mother never gets hit with a custard pie. Mothers-in-law-yes. But mothers-never.

  Mack Sennett

  Sports, Mother, Race

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• And the bigger the fall, the bigger the joke. It would be better fun to throw a custard pie at a bishop than at a curate.

  George Orwell

  Fun, Fall, Pie

  George Orwell, Ian Angus, Sheila Davison (1998). “The Complete Works of George Orwell: I have tried to tell the truth, 1943-1944”

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