Clubs Quotes - Page 30

• When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it.

  Brad Stine

  Yelling, People, Drunk

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• We're down in Mexico. It's for a bachelor party, so we go into a Mexican strip club... I go back with this woman down a murky hallway, and then without missing a beat - these ladies are all business - she goes, 'Go ahead, take out your dong.' 'I'm not taking out my dong. And by the way, who uses the word dong? If you want to be hip to the lingo, they're not using the word dong up in the States.

  Al Madrigal

  Party, Mexican, Missing

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• Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.

  Gary Gulman

  Fun, Night, Long

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• There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

  Dov Davidoff

  Lonely, Night, Crowded

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Mar 14, 2012

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• Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.

  Dov Davidoff

  Men, Talking, Comedy

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jul 16, 2011

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• Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

  Dov Davidoff

  Night, Drug, Night Club

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 07, 2012

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• I like shitty strip clubs. They look like what they are. I know what to expect. Unlike Congress, at least we know everybody is for sale.

  Dov Davidoff

  Looks, Congress, Knows

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Mar 07, 2012

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• You walk into a strip club with a wad of cash; they all flock around you. Strippers are just pigeons with tits. They go where the bread is.

  Chris Hardwick

  Cash, Pigeons, Bread

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• Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You're paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.

  Chris Hardwick

  Girl, Running, Sober

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• When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

  Chris Hardwick

  Latin, School, Going Away

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• Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would perform in front of a mirror and never go to a club. We are giving this away. Some people are going through so much in their lives, they want to hear something else that's going on in the world and laugh.

  J. B. Smoove

  Thinking, Mirrors, People

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• I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.

  J. B. Smoove

  Brain, Next, Gears

  "JB Smoove, comic and torturer". TheWrap.com Interview, www.reuters.com. January 20, 2012.

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• I did a club one night - the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

  J. B. Smoove

  Black And White, Night, Hell

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• I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray club soda and seltzer.

  J. B. Smoove

  Fire, Doors, Buttons

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• Every now and then it feels like it's just been a few days ago, a few weeks ago since we got started; but looking back through photographs and listening to the older albums and stuff, you can definitely feel some maturing and some distance in between the club days and where we are now

  Eddie Montgomery

  Distance, Listening, Albums

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• You don't know where life's gonna take you. Sometimes it takes you getting carried out of a club and then into a booth as an apology for it.

  Rob Dyrdek

  Apology, Sometimes, Knows

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• When I was in high school I made the discovery that if I was playing in a jazz club, and there were black people in the club, if I could get the black people to like what I was doing, I was on the right track. So I began to play to those people because they knew what the authentic music was. I've always had that in the back of my head.

  Paul Smoker

  School, Play, Discovery

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• Bourbon Street is like playing, a tourist, you know? It's just a tourist attraction ... those musicians on Bourbon Street, they play all day. They might start at 12 noon and end at 3 in the morning, like, it's like sets, like a job. You go play, take a break, play again, take a break, then later on that night, the club gets busier, then you play some more. There's pride. They're a group of great musicians- and they're holding it down.

  Troy Andrews

  Morning, Jobs, Pride

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• I like musicians who look at the public. You have to bring the music to the largest number. Otherwise, we'll [the Jazz players] stay in the clubs. Jazz must be accessible to everyone.

  Dee Dee Bridgewater

  Player, Numbers, Musician

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• Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown! Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers.

  T. E. Lawrence

  Arabia, Lions, Clown

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• The photograph doesn't claim to be a participant, or to know, or to be a club member of whatever it's documenting - photography is more demanding when it doesn't pretend to know.

  Taryn Simon

  Photography, Claims, Members

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• I had my young eyes opened by the impersonal blood and guts of news photography. I was running the gamut every low man on the totem pole runs - country clubs to mass murder.

  Burk Uzzle

  Photography, Running, Country

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• If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me; I'm good.

  Bill Burr

  Play, Car, Beats

  "Bill Burr Unleashed". Interview with David Swanson, www.maxim.com. October 1, 2012.

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• Maybe just as many women writers as male writers could be billed as the next great American writer by their publisher. Maybe book criticism sections could review an equal amount of female and male writers. Maybe Oprah could start putting some books by women authors in her book club, since most of her audience is women.

  Jami Attenberg

  Book, Criticism, Males

  "Interview With Jami Attenberg, Author of 'The Melting Season'". Interview with Teddy Wayne, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 18, 2010.

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• The true reformer does not want time, nor money, nor coöperation, nor advice. What is time but the stuff delay is made of? And depend upon it, our virtue will not live on the interest of our money. He expects no income, but outgoes; so soon as we begin to count the cost, the cost begins. And as for advice, the information floating in the atmosphere of society is as evanescent and unserviceable to him as gossamer for clubs of Hercules.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Advice, Atmosphere, Reform

  Henry David Thoreau (2013). “The Essential Thoreau”, p.234, Simon and Schuster

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