Judith Martin Quotes

Quotes about:

• The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.

  Judith Martin

  Country, Freedom, Equality

  90 Copy quote

• Adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race. Rude children belong to their mothers.

  Judith Martin

  Funny, Mother, Children

  Judith Martin (2002). “Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children”, p.108, Simon and Schuster

  45 Copy quote

• If it's against state law, it's generally considered a breach of Etiquette.

  Judith Martin

  Law, States, Etiquette

  53 Copy quote

• It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

  Judith Martin

  Humble, Humility, Quality

  39 Copy quote

• If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

  Judith Martin

  Inspirational, Kindness, Advice

  19 Copy quote

• Dishonesty is not the only alternative to honesty. There is also the highly underrated virtue of shutting up.

  Judith Martin

  Honesty, Women, Alternatives

  10 Copy quote

• Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace.

  Judith Martin

  Mistake, Grace, Wonderful

  6 Copy quote

• Perhaps the greatest rudenesses of our time come not from the callousness of strangers, but from the solicitousness of intimates who believe that their frank criticisms are always welcome, and who feel free to "be themselves" with those they love, which turns out to mean being their worst selves, while saving their best behavior for strangers.

  Judith Martin

  Friendship, Believe, Mean

  Judith Martin (1996). “Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson”

  30 Copy quote

• The pejorative term "political correctness" was adapted to express disapproval of the enlargement of etiquette to cover all people, in spite of this being a principle to which all Americans claim to subscribe.

  Judith Martin

  People, Political, Principles

  Judith Martin (2003). “Star-Spangled Manners: In Which Miss Manners Defends American Etiquette (For a Change)”, p.32, W. W. Norton & Company

  26 Copy quote

• There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

  Judith Martin

  Love, Inspirational, Witty

  Judith Martin (1982). “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, Scribner

  22 Copy quote

• Generosity and gratitude are inseparably linked.

  Judith Martin

  Gratitude, Women, Generosity

  4 Copy quote

• When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can't live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed.

  Judith Martin

  People, Ugly, Behavior

  Judith Martin (1984). “Miss Manners' guide to rearing perfect children”, Viking Pr

  8 Copy quote

• Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you
  in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor
  to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? Soup does its
  loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't
  catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?

  Judith Martin

  Summer, Cheer, Food

  28 Copy quote

• Should you happen to notice that another person is extremely tall or overweight, eats too much or declines convivial drinks, has red hair or goes about in a wheelchair, ought to get married or ought not to be pregnant -- see if you can refrain from bringing these astonishing observations to that person's attention.

  Judith Martin

  Hair, Attention, Red

  18 Copy quote

• The family dinner table is the cornerstone of civilization and those who 'graze' from refrigerators or in front of the television sets are doomed to remain in a state of savagery.

  Judith Martin

  Civilization, Television, Tables

  23 Copy quote

• Why bring children into a world where no one writes letters?

  Judith Martin

  Children, Writing, World

  Judith Martin (2011). “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior (Freshly Updated)”, p.51, W. W. Norton & Company

  4 Copy quote

• Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.

  Judith Martin

  Honesty, Mean, Insulting

  Judith Martin (1985). “Common courtesy: in which Miss Manners solves the problem that baffled Mr. Jefferson”, Scribner

  11 Copy quote

• Society cannot exist without etiquette ... It never has, and until our own century, everybody knew that.

  Judith Martin

  Century, Etiquette

  17 Copy quote

• When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation.

  Judith Martin

  People, Mind, Insult

  9 Copy quote

• We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

  Judith Martin

  Positive, Society, Belief

  21 Copy quote

• Etiquette enables you to resolve conflict without just trading insults. Without etiquette, the irritations in modern life are so abrasive that you see people turning to the law to regulate everyday behavior. This frightens me; it's a major inroad on our basic freedoms.

  Judith Martin

  Irritation, Law, People

  14 Copy quote

• It is wrong to wear diamonds before luncheon, except on one’s marriage rings. Before, after, and during breakfast, luncheon and dinner, it is vulgar to wear a mixture of colored precious stones. It is always a comfort to know that so many things one can’t afford to do anyway are vulgar.

  Judith Martin

  Precious Stones, Mixtures, Dinner

  24 Copy quote

• Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.

  Judith Martin

  Differences, No Excuses, Rudeness

  Judith Martin (1982). “Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior”, Scribner

  22 Copy quote

• Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace ... Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, 'No, dear -- it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.

  Judith Martin

  Children, Growing Up, Crazy

  21 Copy quote

• There is nothing like a good friend to help you out when you are not in trouble.

  Judith Martin

  Friends, Good Friend, Helping

  Judith Martin (1990). “Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium”, p.115, Simon and Schuster

  6 Copy quote

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