I don't have to meet actors. I'm really blessed that I don't have to do all that horseshit.
I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you're all right. I don't have to go to premières.
I don't have any ambition.
I hate fame. I hate being recognized, because I don't know how to talk to people.
I completely understand why a businessman would fire me from 'Saturday Night Live'. Because he was seeing Jay Leno kill 10 minutes a night, doing his monologue with wall-to-wall laughs and applause, then I do 10 minutes a week to, sometimes, breathtaking silence. He's just listening for the laughs.
When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.
[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].
Richard Pryor is my favorite stand-up ever.
I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
On Update, the only real original thing was trying to take away the cleverness of the punchline and make it as blunt as possible.
I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.
I've always been very averse to innuendo, especially sexual. I find it cowardly or something.
There's that saying, "I don't know art, but I know what I like." The inverse is kind of true. I know art, but I don't know what I like. You get so immersed in it that nothing appeals to you.
There hasn't been an original voice in stand-up since Sam Kinison.
I guess [Richard] Pryor was that good. I never saw him in a theater, but I imagine he was that good, because he was such a phenomenal actor.
I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don't like to memorize words.
I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny enough with stream of consciousness until I get to the actual explosively funny part.
Louis [C.K.] is great. But I don't know how many you could do.
Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.
If it wasn't so pointless and ridiculous, it would be more humiliating. Also, if there [Hollywood] weren't so many people as bad as myself - equally untalented people - it would be even more humiliating.
It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."
There's no show business in Canada, so everybody just did stand-up and we all thought, "Oh, we'll just keep doing stand-up." And then I'm like, "There's more work in the States."
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