The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.
A loafer always has the correct time.
It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
It's the good loser who finally loses out.
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.
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