Benjamin Franklin Funny Quotes

• Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  Benjamin Franklin (2007). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.98, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

• Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Hilarious, 4th Of July

  Poor Richard's Almanac for 1735 and 1741.

• God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Inspirational, Funny, God

  Benjamin Franklin (2013). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.29, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

• I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Good Morning, Have A Good Day

• If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  Benjamin Franklin (1848). “The Way to Wealth”, p.4

• If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  Andrew Carnegie, Benjamin Franklin (2015). “The ABC of Money: Including The Way to Wealth and The Gospel of Wealth”, p.72, Cosimo Classics

• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  Benjamin Franklin, William Temple Franklin (1819). “The Posthumous and Other Writings of Benjamin Franklin ...”, p.290

• There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Benjamin Franklin (2008). “The Autobiography and Other Writings”, p.347, Bantam Classics

• Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Life, Crazy

  Benjamin Franklin (2012). “Wit and Wisdom from Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.27, Courier Corporation

• In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Witty, Order

• Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Laughter, Humor

• The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you're finished.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Knowing, Goal

• Our Constitution is in actual operation; everything appears to promise that it will last; but in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Death, 4th Of July

• The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Witty, Stars

• God works wonders now and then; Behold a lawyer, an honest man.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, God, Honesty

  Poor Richard's Almanack, Dec. 1733

• A penny saved is a penny earned.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Inspiring, Money

  Benjamin Franklin (2016). “Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin: new annotated edition”, p.34, MarcoPolo

• He that lieth down with Dogs, shall rise up with Fleas.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Dog, 4th Of July

  Benjamin Franklin (2007). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.9, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

• Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Law, Attorney

  James C. Humes, Benjamin Franklin (1995). “The wit and wisdom of Benjamin Franklin: a treasury of more than 900 quotations and anecdotes”, Harpercollins

• In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Happiness, Dog

• I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Weight Loss, Mind

• Many foxes grow gray but few grow good.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Time, Age

  Benjamin Franklin (1963). “The Autobiography, and Other Writings: With Selections from Poor Richard's Almanac and Papers Relating to the Junto”

• He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Doctors, Stupidity

  Benjamin Franklin (2012). “Wit and Wisdom from Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.12, Courier Corporation

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